Abbey Calls Out Peter’s Non-Stop Holiday Behaviour In Portugal!
The Therapy Crouch
Therapy Crouch
4.7 • 3.7K Ratings
🗓️ 28 April 2026
⏱️ 55 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back in Portugal for part two of their sunny getaway, but there’s no peace and quiet in sight. Abbey wastes no time exposing Peter for turning the family holiday into a full-blown sports tour, with golf, paddle, football and post-match beers all somehow making the itinerary ahead of family time. Peter, naturally, insists it’s all part of his passion for sport.
The couple then get into a surprisingly honest and hilarious debate about why football brings men together so easily, and whether women have anything that creates the same kind of instant bond. Peter reflects on his emotional return to Liverpool for the Legends match and why sport has always been his escape, while Abbey explains exactly why golf sends her over the edge.
Later on, things descend into total chaos with a Portugal-themed quiz involving capitals, custard tarts and some wildly confident wrong answers. Sunshine, arguments, emotional moments and complete nonsense… just another day on The Therapy Crouch.
If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below
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Plus, more holiday dilemmas, in this episode Abbey and Pete welcome back listeners Lana and Jeanette, to help them plan their TUI holiday. Booking T&Cs apply. ATOL and ABTA protected.
https://www.tui.co.uk/
00:00 Introduction
03:00 Peter’s Injury & Competitive Nature
08:40 Why Liverpool Means So Much
14:03 Abbey Calls Out Peter’s Holiday Behaviour
16:25 Why Men Bond Over Football
27:21 Abbey vs Peter On Golf
30:43 Sport & Mental Health
32:18 “Look… It’s Dusk” Chaos
45:14 The Portugal Quiz Begins
51:00 Capitals Challenge Meltdown
54:58 Outro
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What are you wear wherever's clean? |
| 0:01.0 | Nothing good. |
| 0:02.0 | I've got loads of bikinis, but I'm not about to sit here in a bikini and do this. |
| 0:05.0 | Well, I don't know. If you want some subscribers, men have problems as well. No, no problems with bitching well. You wouldn't have girls shouting like, Versace. Do you know what I mean? You wouldn't have like, fashion off. You wouldn't have like, fashion off. Off. |
| 0:18.5 | You and have makeup off. |
| 0:20.0 | Because women aren't fucking imbeciles, I'm. |
| 0:22.0 | It's Charlotte,, you're here. Obligado. Hello and welcome to the therapy crouch with me, Abby Clancy. Me, Peter Crouch. Amigas. How are we guys? We're good, we're good, we're good. I just got a T-shirt on here and Abbs just looked at my guns and said, do you need to get to the gym? No, I did not. I said that ship's fucking sailed. I actually did not say that. What's that show? We're watching now. Yeah, but the guy is like a unit. You need muscles like Anthony, my horse riding coach. |
| 0:55.0 | If he can get them horse riding, you can get... |
| 0:57.1 | Look how many times you swing that golf club? |
| 1:00.7 | You should have guns like bloody... |
| 1:03.4 | But yeah, listen, I think all people have built differently. |
| 1:06.2 | I know, I can't talk to pizza, get rid of that rubber ring. |
| 1:09.5 | Oh, behave. |
| 1:10.4 | You're perfect. That's the difference. Oh. Well, I genuinely believe that. You're picking fault to me all the time. Unfortunately, you got with me with Linguini arms, and I've developed, and I've still got the Linguini arms. You haven't? I quite like that little muscle there. I'm trying. I'm not a muscle burger kind of girl. |
| 1:27.7 | Thank God for that. |
| 1:30.2 | I've got my, |
| 1:30.9 | I've got pros and cons to me. |
| 1:33.0 | Put your shades on instead of squinting the sun. |
| 1:35.5 | Do you want your shades on? |
| 1:36.6 | Go on. |
| 1:37.6 | Let's have a look. |
| 1:38.0 | Do I'm told. |
... |
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