A Jury of Your Tears

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

Relationships, Information, John Hodgman, Justice, Society & Culture, Kids & Family, John Hodgeman, Mac, Knowledge, Pc, Comedy, Show, Jesse Thorn, Judge, World, More

4.8 • 7.9K Ratings

🗓️ 7 December 2016

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Donny brings the case against his roommate, Glenn. Glenn tends to cook quesadillas in their shared New York City apartment several times a week. Donny finds that the smell of peppers and onions is too powerful to handle and wants Glenn to vary his cooking routine. With Guest Bailiff Jean Grae! Judge John Hodgman is coming to San Francisco Sketchfest in January and Very Very Fun Day in Chicago in February! For ticket information, visit maximumfun.org and check out the right sidebar or visit johnhodgman.com/tour. To submit a case for either show, visit maximumfun.org/jjho! Thank you to Paul Ruh & Tom Brinton for suggesting this week's title! To suggest a title for a future episode, like Judge John Hodgman on Facebook. We regularly put a call for submissions.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.
0:05.9	I'm guest Baylif Jean Grey.
0:08.3	This week, a jury of your tears.
0:12.1	Donnie brings a case against his roommate, Glenn.
0:15.5	Glenn cooks quesadillas in their shared New York City apartment several times a week.
0:20.6	Donnie finds that the smell of peppers and onions is too powerful to handle, and he wants
0:25.8	Glenn to vary his cooking routine.
0:28.4	He's right.
0:29.4	Who's wrong?
0:30.4	Only one man can decide.
0:32.8	Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents the obscure cultural
0:38.4	reference.
0:39.4	And admiral, without ships, a hand without fingers in service of a king without a throne?
0:47.3	Is this an internet judge who comes before us?
0:50.2	Or the answer to a child's riddle?
0:53.6	Guest Baylif Jean Grey swear them in.
0:56.3	Please rise and raise your right hands.
0:59.0	Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God
1:04.0	or whatever?
1:05.0	I do.
1:07.0	Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that in the 90s,
1:12.8	he was half of a rap duo called peppers and onions, and their hit single was called quesadillas.
	...

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