#96: The Importance of Discomfort in Life & Relationships
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 1 August 2023
⏱️ 23 minutes
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Summary
In today’s episode, we’re talking all about discomfort — specifically, why it’s so essential in any healing journey to reframe the way we approach and relate to getting uncomfortable.
Most of us recoil at the first sign of discomfort, preferring to stay squarely within the domain of what we know and can control. But this often means we’re confining ourselves to a very limited experience of what’s possible in our lives.
We’ll cover:
- Why we tend to gravitate towards what is familiar and known
- How embracing discomfort builds resilience
- Physical protocols for exploring discomfort
- Building our emotional capacity for discomfort
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Highlighted Links
- Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
- Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
Additional Resources
- Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
- Join my email list 💌
- Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
- Visit my website
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships. |
| 0:19.7 | I'm your host, Relationship Coach Stephanie Rigg, and I'm really glad you're here. |
| 0:25.6 | Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. |
| 0:29.6 | In today's episode, I'm going to be talking all about discomfort |
| 0:32.9 | and specifically the importance of getting uncomfortable, of discomfort in building our capacity |
| 0:40.4 | in life and in relationships. |
| 0:42.7 | So this is something that has been a really big part of my personal journey. |
| 0:49.1 | And it's also a key theme in the work that I do with clients and students because I think |
| 0:53.6 | that we are collectively |
| 0:54.9 | really, really wired for comfort, probably as a baseline as human beings. Comfort equals familiarity |
| 1:03.1 | equals safety. So there's a strong tendency to cling to that which we know, which tends to be, you know, that which is |
| 1:11.8 | known and comfortable, right? But I think a huge part of building our capacity and growing |
| 1:18.3 | lies in doing things that are new and are unknown and are uncertain and really stretching |
| 1:25.3 | ourselves. And I think that the more we use comfort as our North Star almost, you know, |
| 1:33.7 | when we're just always choosing the comfortable thing, the known thing, the thing that |
| 1:38.8 | provides us with a semblance of control and certainty, then we're always going to be getting more of what we've already got, |
| 1:46.2 | which for a lot of us is not really what we want. We want a different experience. We want new patterns, |
| 1:52.3 | new dynamics in our lives. We want to grow. We want to expand. We want to evolve. And yet, |
| 1:59.1 | oftentimes we still will consciously or not cling to what is known and what |
| 2:03.5 | is comfortable and I think oftentimes that is at odds with our desire to grow and evolve. So I'm going |
| 2:10.1 | to be sharing some thoughts around this today, my own journey with embracing discomfort |
| 2:16.4 | and the rewards that I've reaped from doing that and making |
... |
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