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On Attachment

#97: How a Fear of Abandonment Impacts Our Relationships

On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 August 2023

⏱️ 19 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In today's episode, we're diving deep on the abandonment wound - a fear that lies at the heart of many insecure attachment patterns and relational dynamics. A fear of abandonment can show up in so many ways, and can keep us from experiencing relationships in a way that feels trusting, safe and secure. 

We'll cover:

  • how it feels to fear abandonment in your relationship
  • different forms of abandonment (physical, emotional)
  • relational behaviours that a fear of abandonment can lead to
  • the link between self-abandonment and a fear of abandonment

Last Chance For This Round to Join My Signature Program, Healing Anxious Attachment  https://www.stephanierigg.com/healing-anxious-attachment 

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Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

0:19.7

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

0:22.8

and I'm really glad you're here. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

0:30.3

In today's episode, I'm going to be talking about how a fear of abandonment impacts our

0:35.4

relationships. So as I was preparing for this episode and I put the

0:39.5

call out on Instagram for people to submit topic ideas and a few people submitted the topic of

0:46.8

fear of abandonment and varying questions around that. And as I was reflecting, it's kind of wild

0:54.0

that we're at episode 97, I think this is,

0:57.5

of the podcast. And I've never done an episode specifically on the fear of abandonment. And the reason

1:04.5

that that seems a little wild is because, as many of you would know, a fear of abandonment is really at the heart of a lot of anxious

1:14.0

attachment patterns. And I know that anxious attachment is the experience of many of my listeners.

1:20.8

So it's taken a while for us to get here to an episode exclusively on the fear of abandonment,

1:29.9

even though we've touched on it in many different settings and many different conversations up until now. But I'm hoping that in today's

1:35.5

episode, we can delve into it a little more specifically, looking at how that fear manifests

1:42.1

itself, what behaviours it might drive us to. And I suppose talking about

1:47.9

less obvious aspects of the fear of abandonment and, you know, for a lot of people, it can be

1:54.1

kind of confusing that they might identify with this fear, given that, you know, it would make

2:00.4

more sense if we'd been literally abandoned as a child, then, you know, it would make more sense if we'd been literally abandoned

2:03.0

as a child, then, you know, that'd be a pretty direct joining of the dots, right? But for most

2:09.1

people, hopefully, that hasn't been your experience. And yet, this fear can really be very, very intense

2:16.8

and profound and can be a very, very strong driving force in

2:23.2

your relational patterns. So we're going to be diving into all of that today. Before I do,

...

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