Hello and welcome to the new mindset hootis podcast. My name is Case Kenney at case.kens.k on

Instagram and this is my weekly podcast where I create short no BS episodes dedicated to helping

you become the person you're meant to be, leave your comfort zone and live a purposeful and

fulfilling life. Let's go.

Thank you. live a purposeful and fulfilling life. Let's go. All right, welcome to episode 783.

Hello, my friend.

Welcome to a fresh new episode of New Mindset Who Dis, as always, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for supporting me. And today I want to talk about a very counterintuitive way to get people to say yes to you and also the deeper implication of this. And the spoiler is basically this. If you want someone to say yes to you to your request of them,

to your, whatever it is, your big ask of them, the research shows that you should give them explicit permission to say no to you. So it's pretty counterintuitive. You give them a way out.

And so it basically goes like this. You know, we obviously, there's, this plays out in offices,

in group chats, at dinner tables, on first dates, everything, where someone wants something,

someone needs something, but they hesitate. And they play it out in their head and they rehearse.

And then they finally get the courage to ask directly for the thing. But they do so very

carefully. And, you know, this is because we have been taught that asking weekly gets you nothing.

So you need to stand up and ask for what you want and be bold in the pursuit of it. So we say things like,

hey, I need you to get this to me by

Thursday. Hey, this is urgent. Can you make sure you get it done? Or even like the shame of I'm

counting on you for this. And the logic on this seems really solid. Like we need to signify that

this thing matters, that there's some urgency behind it, that

we cannot leave any room for misinterpretation.

We can't give someone an easy out, otherwise they'll take it.

That's what we tend to do.

But the research says that that's backwards.

...