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The Art of Charm

715: The Art of Compelling Conversations

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.711K Ratings

🗓️ 6 August 2018

⏱️ 67 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, AJ and Johnny share stories of how they’ve built connections with others and improved upon them — then explore them from a scientific perspective. In their quest to reach the perfect balance, they talk about how vital opening up the door of introduction is without prying into someone’s life or personal space. AJ and Johnny explain the power of the invite, creating an emotional connection and ultimately helping us all understand the kind of person we’re interested in. As best stated by Dr. Jack Shafer (Ep #712), “The sense of closeness increases if the disclosures are emotional rather than factual.” CHEAT SHEET We live in a time when technology gives us instant satisfaction for almost everything: food, transportation, running errands, dating, keeping track of… well, almost everything! It’s easy to expect connections to be created just as instantaneously. We hit a button and, BAM, a new best friend. But, it rarely happens that way. Why? How come? How does technology change our assumptions and expectations when interacting with someone new? What’s the best way to instantly connect with a stranger? Trick question: you don't. Connection takes time. Think of this: Your next business mentor, romantic interest or long-term friend may be sitting right next to you! And how would you know? These moments may be passing you by in your everyday life? What practical ways can you give more people the ability to connect on an emotional level with you? By showing emotion, mirroring their body language. What are emotional bids and how can we use these to understand others? Emotional bids are humor/play/affection, and they’re used to hook the other person into also sharing emotion. It’s the emotion that creates a connection. AJ and Johnny refer back to their interview with Dr. Jeffrey Hall (our guest on AOC podcast #712) about how long it can take to move from acquaintance to true friend. Where in your daily interactions can you apply this patience as you get to know someone? Example: By trying not to push myself onto the new girl at the coffee shop. She seems nice, but I don’t know her well enough. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey there, welcome to the Art of Charm Podcast, I'm Johnny.

0:14.2

And I'm AJ, and each episode on the Art of Charm, we strive to inspire conversation that

0:19.5

will make you a more connected, more confident, and ultimately a more high value human.

0:24.7

We pull from over a decade of our own coaching experience with thousands of happy customers

0:29.6

who've gone through our training programs and guests who've joined us here on the podcast

0:33.6

who are thought leaders in their own field.

0:35.7

But it's not just about us, it's about you.

0:39.2

We learn from and with you.

0:41.6

And at the end of this month, we're going to wrap up our theme with a Q&A episode with

0:46.8

questions inspired and from you.

0:50.0

If you're listening and have a question to ask us, go ahead and reach out to us on Twitter

0:54.3

or Instagram at the Art of Charm, or you can email us personally, ajattheeartofcharm.com

1:01.2

or johnnyattheeartofcharm.com.

1:03.8

Now this episode is the Art of Compelling Conversation, number 715.

1:08.9

And we're excited, we have some fun stories to share, like Johnny's move from New York

1:14.0

to LA, as well as how he talked his way out of getting robbed and Amsterdam.

1:19.4

We're going to answer the question for you.

1:21.6

Our listeners, the question Johnny and I get asked repeatedly, as well as learn about

1:26.3

a fun concept called a third place that a lot of our students use to their advantage to

1:30.8

meet and connect with people.

1:32.3

Well, let's get to it.

1:37.1

Our toolbox episode this month is all about the genesis of connection.

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