You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships

and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. Today's episode is a Q&A episode,

and I'm answering the question of of can a relationship between two anxiously

attached people work? So this is a question that I get quite a lot, and I'm going to answer that

question and also the alternative version of that, which is kind of relationship between two

avoidant people work, or why don't avoidant people tend to date each other and anxious people

tend to date each other. So I think this is something that many people wonder, perhaps when

they are or have been in an anxious avoidant dynamic and they experience the struggle of that

opposition of feeling like they need to compromise so heavily on their needs and preferences

because they are in partnership with someone who has opposing needs and preferences.

And so, you know, the logical solution seems to be, why don't I just find someone with the same

needs and preferences as me when it comes to all of those attachment patterns and then everything

will be resolved and will live happily ever after, you know, two anxiouses, spending all

of our time together being obsessed with each other, you know, both feet on the accelerator and

the avoidance can go over there and be in their relationship where they have lots of space

and, you know,

peace among the lands. As you can probably tell from the way I'm talking about that, it's a little

messier and more complicated. And as is often the case, what makes logical sense often doesn't

take into account the emotional layers that drive a lot of our behaviors when it comes

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