Welcome to UnFuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism, and coaching to rewire your brain

and get what you want in life.

And now here's your host, Harvard Law School grad, Feminist Rockstar, and Master Coach,

Kara Loyenthyle.

Hello my chickens, how is the flock today? I am excited because it is finally fall in New York and I love this season because it's sunny but it's not hot and the air is crisp and I can survive

my apartment without air conditioning. So life is good. I just spent today going through a big batch of applications for UnFuck Your Brain, which is for those of you

newer around here, it's not just the name of the podcast, it's also my coaching program.

And one of the things I noticed while I was reading the applications

was how many of the women identified themselves as people pleasers?

And I find that most of my clients share this trait and so today I want to teach you more in-depth about people-pleasing. I have taught about people-pleasing on the podcast before.

It was almost a year ago, and so some of you probably

have never even gone that far back.

And for those of you who have,

there's always space to take the work deeper.

And one of the changes that I have made or developments in the way

that I teach this concept is that I don't even like calling it people pleasing anymore.

Because I think that that term kind of perpetuates

this delusion that, number one, we can please other people.

And number two, that this behavior

has anything to do with other people which it really doesn't.

Like calling ourselves people pleasers sort of makes it sound like we just really care about other people being happy, right?

It like almost validates that this makes us kind of a good or nice person.

...