Hello, I'm the Chief Advisor here at the Perfect Person Call Center, where your problems are our solutions.

We are so excited to announce a stunning new initiative. You can now wear the official Perfect Person uniform.

Scientifically guaranteed to increase the amount of vitamin P in your bloodstream, eliminating pesky problems like

running into your ex at the grocery store or bringing a bad soup to a company potluck.

My bestie sabotage my Instagram post, but with Miles' help, I'm 100% over it, like for real.

I went on a date to the movies, and I got so nervous I threw up. But after my call with Miles, I decided to be the one to apologize.

I screamed myself horse and my workplace crushed. But with Miles' help, I think we're getting tacos.

I had night terrors. But after Miles' help, my roommate is legally required to feed me to sleep.

I've held thousands of people, and now it's time I help.

We can leave this place whenever we want to.

Join us. Join us. Join us. Join us. It's time to ascend to perfection.

This is a head gum podcast.

Hello and welcome to Perfect Person in the show, where I'm perfect and you're a person.

He's loading.

This morning I moved my towel.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

It was on a sort of clumping hook.

And now it's on a long drain to the listener what a clumping hook is.

So I know picture a hook and then he put a wet towel on it. It's going to clump all up, not leaving enough air flow.

It was the end of a fart sound effect. It feels like I started.

That was beautiful. It's sort of a rumble.

Anyway, but the clumping hook was not allowing my towels to dry.

...