463. Coaching Hotline: Believing Your Body is Attractive & Learning to Identify Your Emotions
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.6K Ratings
🗓️ 3 February 2026
⏱️ 13 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When you’ve spent most of your adult life believing your body has to look a certain way to be desirable, it can feel impossible to think anything different. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who feels stuck believing her body must change for men to be attracted to her, even after years of thought work.
I also respond to a question about struggling to identify emotions beyond anxiety and feeling empty or disconnected. I explain why strong emotions are often the easiest to access at first, what it actually means to describe a feeling physically, and how learning to stay with sensations without judgment builds emotional awareness over time.
Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/463
Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Mentioned in this episode:
The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to unfuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Lowentile, master-certified coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thought. I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. |
| 0:21.3 | Let's go. |
| 0:24.8 | Welcome to this week's coaching hotline episode where I answer real questions from real listeners |
| 0:31.2 | and coach you from afar. |
| 0:33.6 | If you want to submit your question for consideration, go to unfuck your brain.com forward slash |
| 0:39.5 | coaching hotline, all one word, or text your email to plus one 347-997-1784. |
| 0:48.0 | And when you get prompted for the code word, it's coaching hotline, all one word. |
| 0:52.6 | Let's get into this week's questions. Here is your first question. |
| 0:58.8 | I've tried a million thought letters. I might be exaggerating. That's in the question that you might be |
| 1:04.3 | exaggerating. And can't stop despairing over my body or believing thoughts other than it has to look a |
| 1:09.5 | certain way for a man to be attracted to it. |
| 1:12.0 | I think part of the issue is that I know I am attracted to a more fit muscular body. |
| 1:16.6 | Even if it's supposedly society culture that gave me those ideas, it's what turns my eye. |
| 1:21.3 | Therefore, I don't believe myself when I say it doesn't matter. |
| 1:24.3 | I've been battling this for all my adult life, approximately age 15 to 49 years old now. |
| 1:30.0 | Okay, so I love this question because there's a couple of things I think going on here that are going |
| 1:34.3 | be useful for so many of you. So, number one, I'm just going to work backwards, actually. |
| 1:40.4 | Of course you don't believe yourself when you say it doesn't matter because I don't think you've |
| 1:44.7 | explored why you think it matters. I think that's the core issue here. Why does it matter |
| 1:51.6 | if matter attracted to you? That's not just a given that it matters. Why does that matter? You have to |
| 1:59.0 | figure out why that matters. And I can almost guarantee you that you are |
| 2:03.4 | making something about your own worth or potential happiness depend on that. So even if it were true |
... |
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