458. How to Solve Insecurity (Greatest Hits)
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.6K Ratings
🗓️ 15 January 2026
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you feel like you are always falling short of some invisible standard, no matter how hard you try? That sense of inadequacy can creep into your work, your relationships, and how you relate to your body, and it can quietly run your life if you never stop to question it.
In this episode, I explore why insecurity is not a personality flaw or something you need to fix, but a signal that you do not feel emotionally safe with yourself. I break down how socialization trains us to measure our worth against external rules and expectations that were never designed to serve us, and why that keeps us feeling perpetually not good enough. Hit play to learn how to stop outsourcing your sense of safety and value, and how to build emotional security from the inside.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/458
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The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | If you ever thought that the solution to feeling insecure about something was just to give yourself |
| 0:04.5 | a pep talk or try to repeat affirmations, then I've got some good news for you. |
| 0:09.4 | There's a reason that that doesn't work. |
| 0:11.5 | And it has to do with how you are talking to yourself and how your self-compassion is conditioning |
| 0:17.4 | you, or your lack of self-compassion is conditioning you, to think about yourself |
| 0:22.3 | and to think about what it means to feel confident. So on this greatest its episode, we get deep |
| 0:28.8 | into what insecurity actually is where it comes from and why the solution to it isn't just |
| 0:34.2 | trying to believe that you're great, but actually something much deeper that |
| 0:38.4 | changes your relationship with yourself, the way you think about the world, and the way that |
| 0:44.1 | you evaluate your own worth and value. Just as powerful today as the day it was written, |
| 0:50.7 | give it a listen. Welcome to unfuck your brain. |
| 0:54.9 | I'm your host, Kara Lowentile, master-certified coach, and founder of the School of New |
| 0:59.9 | Feminist Thub. |
| 1:01.3 | I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on |
| 1:06.8 | your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. |
| 1:10.6 | Let's go. All right, so we've all used |
| 1:16.5 | these words or this phrase probably. I just feel insecure. Sometimes we're just saying, |
| 1:22.2 | I just feel insecure, full stop. And if we say it generally, without talking about something specific, it's usually a stand-in |
| 1:29.4 | for, I don't feel good about myself generally. It can mean I feel self-conscious. It can mean I have |
| 1:36.0 | negative thoughts about myself. It can mean I generally don't feel good enough, even though I don't |
| 1:41.2 | entirely know what that even means. Or sometimes we're saying we feel |
| 1:45.0 | insecure about something in particular. I just feel insecure about my stomach. I just feel insecure |
... |
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