457. Coaching Hotline: Will Practicing Thought Work Make Me Less Emotional?
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.6K Ratings
🗓️ 13 January 2026
⏱️ 12 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Does doing thought work make you calmer or does it turn you into someone who feels less emotional and more rigid?
In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about whether becoming more logical means losing access to their emotions. You'll also hear my answer to a question from a listener who feels constantly angry during long school drop-off drives and blames other drivers. I'll show you how owning your choices and managing your mind can radically change how you feel without changing a single circumstance.
Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/457
Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/
Mentioned in this episode:
The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
The Future Coach Podcast is Here!
The Future Coach: How to Succeed as a Life Coach Today, Tomorrow, and Beyond is finally here. Every other week, you'll hear practical advice about becoming a coach, improving your coaching skills, and antidotes to the most common concerns, questions, and brain drama that come up with this work, whether you're just starting out or you're years into your career. If you want to find out more, you can find it anywhere you listen to podcasts and hit that follow button.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to unfuck your brain. I'm your host Kara Lowentile, master-certified coach, and founder of the School of New Feminist Thought. I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. |
| 0:21.3 | Let's go. |
| 0:24.8 | Welcome to this week's coaching hotline episode where I answer real questions from real listeners |
| 0:31.2 | and coach you from afar. |
| 0:33.6 | If you want to submit your question for consideration, go to unfuck your brain.com forward slash |
| 0:39.5 | coaching hotline, all one word, or text your email to plus one 347-997-1784. |
| 0:48.0 | And when you get prompted for the code word, it's coaching hotline, all one word. |
| 0:52.6 | Let's get into this week's questions. |
| 0:55.5 | Here's your first question. In the past, I've been told by many that I tend to be |
| 1:00.4 | emotionless, rigid, and generally a hard ass, a hard arse when it comes to feelings. I've worked a lot |
| 1:06.9 | on expressing my emotions better and becoming more empathetic. Will all this thought work undo this? The more thought work I do, the more logical I become and the less emotional I am. |
| 1:16.0 | So, I think this is a fascinating question. It really depends on how you define all of that. |
| 1:20.6 | Some people are quote unquote emotionless because they are resisting and shoving down their emotions. |
| 1:27.0 | They're resisting or avoiding your emotion or not being comfortable having it is very different |
| 1:32.6 | from thought work. Thoughtwork is all about experiencing and processing your emotion and taking |
| 1:39.0 | control of what you're going to think and what emotions you're going to keep creating. |
| 1:43.5 | But it's never about |
| 1:44.3 | shutting down or resisting an emotion just because it comes up, right? Because emotions are harmless. |
| 1:49.3 | They're just sensations in our body. What I find is not that I am less emotional because of thought work. |
| 1:55.7 | I am less reactive because of thought work. So I don't fly off the handle as much. I don't get kicked into a cycle of |
| 2:03.8 | loneliness and anxiety and depression immediately if somebody doesn't text me back. Like, I'm less reactive. |
| 2:09.1 | When I do have emotions, I find that they're able to really flow through me much more clearly |
... |
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