432. Creating Self-Confidence (Greatest Hits)
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.5K Ratings
🗓️ 16 October 2025
⏱️ 23 minutes
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Summary
Confidence doesn’t come from promotions, degrees, or other people telling you that you’re impressive. In this episode, I revisit one of the earliest conversations on the podcast to break down the myths about where confidence comes from and why relying on external validation alone never works.
You’ll learn why starting with your past accomplishments is helpful but not enough and how the deeper work of confidence comes from developing internal trust in yourself. This episode lays the foundation for building confidence that is self-generated, resilient, and ready to support all areas of your life.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/432
The Socratic Coaching Method Certification: thesocraticcoachingacademy.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | So I don't know if you guys have ever had the experience where, let's say you're working on something. |
| 0:04.6 | Maybe this was before everything was in Google Docs and auto saved. |
| 0:07.3 | But back in the day, you'd be working on something and like your computer would freeze. |
| 0:11.3 | You would forget to save. |
| 0:12.8 | You would lose the whole thing. |
| 0:14.7 | Your dog would eat your homework, whatever. |
| 0:16.3 | And you'd have to do it all again. |
| 0:17.7 | And you would be so mad because you had just done it. |
| 0:20.2 | Now you have to do it all again and you would be so mad because you had just done it. Now you have to do it again. |
| 0:21.1 | And what if it's not as good? |
| 0:22.3 | And it would turn out just as good or better. And I feel like I have this happen with concepts that I think and teach about where I'll think that I'm like coming up with something I've never talked about before. And then when I look back, I'm like, oh, I've been talking about this all along. This is like the next level of it. |
| 0:38.4 | So I have been thinking and talking and developing a new body of work around confidence that I'm going to be starting to share on the podcast and I'm really excited about. And when I was getting ready, I'm writing the new episodes now and recording them. And I was like, oh, I should go back and see. like, I think I'd like to share some of my earlier episodes on confidence, but my thinking has evolved so much. I better go make sure that, like, I still stand by all of them. Like, what if they say something I don't agree with now? |
| 1:04.0 | So I went back and looked at episode three of the podcast. Like, that is so early. That is 2017. And it's episode three is creating |
| 1:13.0 | confidence, creating self-confidence. And I went and looked at it and I was like, oh, no, I stand by |
| 1:18.5 | all of this. This is all actually true. So I think that my teaching on confidence is evolving |
| 1:23.8 | in like a more specific and detailed direction, which is going to be so valuable for you guys |
| 1:28.9 | in terms of really breaking down, like, what are the skills and thought patterns and emotional |
| 1:34.8 | and regulation skills you need to build confidence? So I'm really excited to share that with you |
| 1:38.7 | over the next couple of months here on the podcast. But we are going to start with this early |
| 1:43.0 | episode, with this greatest hits repeat, |
| 1:45.1 | because what this episode really focuses on that is so important is that confidence doesn't |
| 1:51.4 | come from external accomplishments. And I talk about the kind of catch 22 that people get |
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