428. How to Stop Emotional Outsourcing with Bea Albina
UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone
Kara Loewentheil
4.6 • 5.5K Ratings
🗓️ 2 October 2025
⏱️ 29 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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Summary
Ever feel like you’re constantly giving love, safety, or approval away—but never getting enough back? Today’s guest is Bea Albina, author of the brand-new book End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. We’re breaking down emotional outsourcing—the habit of looking outside yourself for validation—and how it secretly shapes your relationships, work, and sense of self.
We dig into practical ways to reconnect with your body, notice what you actually want, and reclaim your inner authority. You’ll get tools to break patterns of people-pleasing and perfectionism, shift how you relate to others, and start living from a place of self-trust rather than external approval.
Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/427
Get Bea's new book here: beatrizalbina.com/book
The Socratic Coaching Method Certification: thesocraticcoachingacademy.com
Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to unfuck your brain. |
| 0:05.6 | I'm your host Kara Lowentile, master-certified coach and founder of the School of New Feminist Thought. |
| 0:12.0 | I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. Let's go. |
| 0:25.0 | Hello, my friends. We are here today with one of my other good friends, in addition to all of you, |
| 0:31.6 | Bea Albina. Oh my guy, I just forgot how to say your last name, Albina. It's only been like 15 years. |
| 0:36.4 | We've known each other, so that makes sense. Listen, we just leave this, leave this all in, Pavel. It's fine. Hi, Pavel. |
| 0:42.6 | Love you, Mia. So Baia was on the podcast previously in 2021, and we talked about how codependency |
| 0:50.8 | affects our nervous system and can impair our brain's ability to function |
| 0:55.2 | the way we want. |
| 0:56.3 | Such a good episode and really her area of expertise. |
| 0:59.4 | So we're going to link that in the show notes. |
| 1:00.8 | If you didn't hear that episode originally, go back, listen to it. |
| 1:04.4 | But today we are talking about the next evolution of her work because you have a new book coming out. Or actually, it's out. |
| 1:12.9 | You have a new book that came out two days ago. It came out. Yeah, very exciting. |
| 1:17.4 | Called and Emotional Outsourcing, How to Overcome Your Co-Dependent, Perfectionist, People |
| 1:22.7 | Pleasing Habits. So can you give us your spiel? Like, tell us how you came to, I know, I mean, I've did so many |
| 1:31.4 | of these interviews, like how you came to write this book. Tell us a little bit about your book. |
| 1:39.8 | Okay, fine. This is so fun. Also, just quick side note, because I've been doing all of these with strangers, |
| 1:44.8 | and I love you so much. And it's just so nice to, like, be talking to you about it. It also feels |
| 1:52.3 | like fun and silly, which is really nice because I've been having to be a grown-up. |
| 1:56.0 | And that's not your fave. Listen. Listen. |
| 2:00.9 | They are giving an interview where she's not doing any funny voices seems like impossible to imagine. |
... |
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