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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

#4204 Things Are Going To Start Not Happening To Me Now

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.82.4K Ratings

🗓️ 13 May 2024

⏱️ 69 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luke's plans to interview the creator of Baby Reindeer changed significantly this weekend after news about the show made international headlines. Plus, Andrew spent the weekend waiting for his Rant and Rave to appear in the Seattle Times. 

 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

If an alien abducted me took time out of his day, his or her day, to beam me up into a spaceship.

0:09.0

Just me, not anybody else in the neighborhood.

0:15.0

I would make love to them because that means I was chosen, special.

0:20.0

They didn't just beam up Sally next door because she was out in her yard working.

0:25.5

They'd beam me up out of my own bed as I'm relaxing playing Candy Crush.

0:37.9

So if they took the time to specifically pick me out of all these other humans that are around me, yes I'll make love. That shows effort. Unlike these people on tender who the only

0:47.6

thing they want to do is scam me and catfish me and extort money for me. You never know an alien might make such good

0:58.7

love to you, you might fall in love with an alien. And I'm not opposed to that.

1:05.0

TBTL.

1:07.0

Well, well, here we are. I want to congratulate you for being on time.

1:16.0

Dudes, the craziest thing happened to me this morning. I got in my car, turned it on,

1:21.0

had the radio on the alt station and the song playing was freaking

1:25.9

rabbit jackal I shan you not blew my shan't mind I by the way I'm a dentist okay so I read body language very very well if you two dirtbags ever mess with me again I'll take this to the next level you don't do 22 episodes of Celebrity Outhouse with Lorraine Bobbitt without learning a few things.

1:44.8

Do you believe that?

1:45.8

I do if you do.

1:46.8

But it's absurd.

1:48.8

But it's absurd. But he scoops do.

1:50.6

Do, poop, poop, do? Well, all right, hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Monday edition of TBTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

2:02.0

I gotta figure out how to make money on this thing.

2:04.0

It's simply too good.

2:05.0

My name is Luke Burbank.

2:07.0

I am your host.

...

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