Welcome to Beach, to Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.

Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could.

Hello and welcome to Beach to Sandy Water, too. This is a podcast where we read the worst reviews in the most dramatic fashion. My name is Zandi.

I'm X-teen, and we are siblings, and we read one-star reviews. Today, we're reading one-star reviews of Bill, of Bill Shakespeare.

Our good friend, Bill, you know, I've said this before.

I had a professor in college, huge crush on him, theater professor,

flemoyantly gay.

Like, just like, look to me once and said, I'm gay, and I said, well, there's still a chance.

Okay.

I just was like, I know.

It's just sad. But I was enamored by him, but he, his whole class was about how William Shakespeare was different people. Oh. And like the conspiracy there. But he presented it as though like this were the curriculum and it were not. There was no like debate really. And so he sort of like brainwashed me into this like very intense. And so it took. With his looks and with his words. It wasn't looks really. It was like a cult sounding thing. It was more the aura of him. Oh, okay. Okay. You get a lot of aura. Got it. So anyway, we're here to talk about Shakespeare. Gays can be. Yeah. Theater is. Speaking of which, I'm in my first ever theater production. This is good timing. I don't know about good. How did not put that together? I did because I couldn't stop thinking about it because I'm so nervous and stressed about it. Oh my gosh, Alex Zedars at a play. I'm so excited to watch him in the play. The whole time I'm going to be whispering, did you guys know Shakespeare? Six different people. It's all a conspiracy. And I'm not doing a shake. I would never do Shakespeare. It's also not a Shakespeare. That is not my vibe, I don't think. Do we want to tell anyone about your play? It's been good. It's a great experience, met some wonderful people. What play? stressed as shit. Radium girls. Yeah, I feel like that's... Mm-hmm.

Place. It's been good. It's a great experience, met some wonderful people. I'm distressed as shit. Radium girls. Yeah, I feel like that's... Blaze keeps calling it something else. I'm trying to remember what he says. Radiohead. I forget. He calls us something completely not correct. Yeah, it's based on a very sad story. It's dark. It's dark stuff. It's a very depressing play. But I got to play an idiot and then a lovesick cowboy. So it's pretty good. Oh, my God.

Shakespeare could never. It seems like Shakespeare does a lot. That's because you're 16 different people. True. Very prolific people. They've, yeah, we still talk about them, so all of them. Here is a review I have.

This was sent in by Zoe, they, she, who sent in a review of King Lear.

Okay.

Also, these contain spoilers.

I had to say it.

That's the most Lieber thing you ever said.

At the risk of alienating one person who's chomping at the bit to get King Lear down, but hasn't quite had the time.

Yeah.

Well, just in case I wanted to say it, this is a one-star review.

I, too, want to gouge my eyes out.

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