378: God Told Me to Call Him Daddy with Pete Holmes

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.9 • 7.5K Ratings

🗓️ 15 April 2026

⏱️ 100 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

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This episode starts off chaotic with the guys riffing on fashion, celebrities, and random cultural takes. The conversation slowly shifts into surprisingly deep territory, diving into nicotine addiction, free will, spirituality, and the meaning of life capped off with listener submissions and completely off-the-rails riffing.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Eight milligrams or eight years of age.
0:02.0	What are you decided?
0:03.0	Oh, there it is. Thanks for yes, and it got a little real. No. I'm waiting for this. God, damn it got a little real! It got a little real and I'm still hot. I didn't know that was a thing. It was fun. You can do it. It is. And I was live commenting and it did feel cool. It did, yeah. It made it feel legit.
0:21.4	Yeah.
0:22.4	And it is legit.
0:23.4	It is legit.
0:24.4	It is legit.
0:25.4	Netflix just doesn't, there's no dashboard.
0:27.4	You can't upload stuff.
0:28.4	I get it.
0:28.8	Do you like having more access to the numbers when you can refresh on YouTube and see the views have gone on X or what?
0:34.4	Or does it drive you crazy?
0:36.4	It doesn't. I think it's inverse. I like this guy! He's calling you out for who you really are. Hold on. Hold on. It doesn't. Really? I'm 47 years old. Okay. You look great. Thank you. You're welcome. What's the secret? What do you keep that hair? Do the hair commercial.
0:55.4	Modern mammals.
0:55.9	There it is.
0:56.2	I knew it. You have the right hair for it. Thank you. Modern mammals? Straight hair. It's a shampoo I like. Don't fucking make me suck my own dick on camera. Do it. You might have. Holy fuck. Dude. Dude. I was not expecting you to be that.
1:10.9	Really? Yeah.
1:11.9	I mean, that's crazy.
1:13.6	At 47? Dude, I was not expecting you to be that.
1:10.9	Really? Yeah. I mean, that's crazy. At 47?
1:14.6	And then I die.
1:16.6	Your leg just shoots off.
	...

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