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Stiff Socks

368: R2 Double D2

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.97.5K Ratings

🗓️ 4 February 2026

⏱️ 79 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at patreon.com/stiffsockspod
Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks

🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com

🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.com

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Is that just one thrust?

0:01.8

Imagine if that's how you found out your wife was cheating on you. You're a dentist. She hasn't topped you off in a while. Tapped you off since Valentine's Day. Yeah, all of a sudden, it's sore back there. Oh my God, I was choking on jawbreakers. What was his name? Jawbreaker. Are we in? Cut it, start it. Ignite it. Ignite it. That's what I want to do to

0:22.8

just pull it.

0:23.5

Just fucking burn it all are we in cut it start it ignite it ignite it that's what i'm gonna do to society just fucking

0:24.2

burn it all the ground i'm gonna just like a bop it for halloween and lay there in the street

0:29.1

oil you just put your cock as a bop it this is my costume you know what to do dude you know

0:34.6

it's so funny i got a massage yesterday i put this on my burner tic-ttock it's so funny. I got a massage yesterday. I put this on my burner, TikTok. It's so funny going to get a massage. You walk into a place, hello, one for oil up, please. Oh, yeah. One, I'd like to just touch, please. Hey, excuse me, I would like, do you guys, do you guys have hands in oil back there? Hey, excuse me, I'm trying to get rubbed by somebody. by two strong hands. We say that it's normal. Like we're going into a quiz. And it was like, one oil, please.

0:56.1

And meat.

0:56.9

It is all, it's normal like we're going into a quiz and i was like one oil

0:55.3

please and meat it is all it's also weird for me because i like dudes so they go do you want a man

1:01.4

or do you want a woman and i go i don't see gender and then they go michael and i go i'd like a dude

1:06.7

please i'd like strong hands i'd like to look at his at his married ring finger and I want it to

1:13.2

be like real tight on his meat-ass hands. That's what I want. Clip this part. Good. Leave it all in.

1:20.0

Leave it in. Like I just like I like, I like the fact. You like that massage by a man? Yes. I much

1:24.7

prefer that. Dude, he just because you didn't have a father. Correct. I call him Papa. I like, I like any... It's, they add stronger hands. Dicks are bigger. You know, I don't know. I just like the touch of a woman because it's like, from... It's like, I think it's, uh, soft meets hard. I'm erect. No, it's a female masseuse is like a a softer hand but they're pushing more in but if a guy is like man hands and he's pushing it's hard on hard you can spark something with that I like to get my ass beat I don't I like I go in there and I literally forget I'm getting massaged I use that as like meditation that is like zone out out. That's no I I definitely I I understand why don't always whisper after I don't know.

2:04.8

I was everything when you go to like pay the end yeah is just a S or it's good why are you

2:11.3

whispering but the fuck part is like you I've yelled this before probably you get a massage you're so

2:16.5

peaceful you're then you're zen and then you walk out and the world is there you know what I mean and then somebody

2:22.0

honks at you because you're reversing you didn't see him or so you you know if somebody

2:25.5

honks you and you have a reverse camera no I see you my car inside is beeping hey you're

2:31.6

getting close but and we're just enough to turn and then we're leave. Yeah, I don't need you to be my second reverse camera. I got it. Got it. I got it. I know that. But here's my pitch for the massage. I think you get a massage and then you stay in the spa for like 40 minutes after.

2:52.1

A lot of places do have that, I will say.

...

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