363: New Year’s Eve Is a Nightmare feat. Matteo Lane
Stiff Socks
Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios
4.9 • 7.5K Ratings
🗓️ 31 December 2025
⏱️ 90 minutes
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Summary
Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks
🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com
🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.com
New Year’s Eve is supposed to be fun, but Trevor and Michael break down why it’s actually all pressure, fake “open bars,” forced midnight kisses, and wildly unhinged superstitions like eating grapes under tables. Then Matteo Lane joins the chaos to talk confidence, nudist colonies, glow-ups, hair transplants, trauma dumping in public, and coming up in comedy.
Follow Matteo Lane:
Instagram: @matteolane
TikTok: @matteolane
X: @matteolane
YouTube: Matteo Lane
Website / Tour Dates: https://www.matteolanecomedy.com
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Ladies and jents, |
| 0:01.6 | Guys, happy freaking New Year's Eve. |
| 0:03.5 | New Year's Eve. |
| 0:04.1 | Do we like it? |
| 0:04.8 | Do we hate it? |
| 0:05.4 | Where are you at? |
| 0:06.4 | I don't like it. It burned to the ground. I don't like it, and I'm so glad that I am finally with someone who also doesn't care for it. Oh. She don't give a heck? Or he doesn't care? Got him. So you're insinuating? Keep going. |
| 0:19.2 | Okay. |
| 0:20.6 | I just, I don't know. |
| 0:21.8 | I just, if I get invited something cool for sure, but like I hate when I feel like I have to force this puzzle piece into something that is not like, well, we can go here. And it's an open bar, but it's a $500 cover. Then it's not an open ball. No, we know how things work. The bar is charging you out the ass. |
| 0:38.7 | Yeah. |
| 0:39.6 | I don't care for it. I don't care for it. It's too pressure-filled. And then you know what's insanely pressure-ful? I don't like, three, two. And that kiss? Oh, dude. I'll tell you, it's so forced about. I'll tell you what's worse. I'll kiss a bitch at 1153. |
| 0:52.8 | Oh, shit. |
| 0:53.5 | God damn. |
| 0:54.0 | Okay. |
| 0:54.6 | I'll kiss a bitch at 11 a.m. |
| 0:56.8 | Hey, hey, hey. |
| 0:57.7 | Yeah. |
| 0:58.2 | Bram. It's so forth. I'll tell you what's worse. I'll kiss a bitch at 11.53. Oh, shit. God damn. Okay. |
| 0:54.6 | I'll kiss a bitch at 11 a.m. |
| 0:56.8 | Hey, hey. Yeah. Breakfast, bitch. Wow. Yep. Okay, a lot of thoughts here. Okay. There's a lot of, like, really weird, like, superstitions that I've seen online. and I think it's more geared towards women, I think, |
| 1:10.0 | but there's one where you, like, |
... |
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