350: Uber Eats Hack + Nurse Assault + 50,000-Year Meat?! on DIYS
Dam Internet, You Scary!
Patrick Cloud, Tahir Moore
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 16 April 2026
⏱️ 77 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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We start with a painful dental situation and a comedy set gone wrong… then somehow end up discussing a woman who increased her delivery tips using feet pics 😳
In between that, things get wild:
A nurse commits one of the craziest assaults we’ve ever heard
A hidden shotgun bed that makes zero sense
A real college offering a BBQ degree
And scientists eating 50,000-year-old meat 🤢
Just a fun conversation with a lot of laughs.
00:00 – Tooth Pain, 7-Eleven Mistake & Comedy Bomb Story
02:49 – Bombing at the Comedy Store Breakdown
05:20 – Dental Emergency & Cost of Treatment
09:45 – Podcast Intro + Cost of Living Discussion
13:39 – Financial Stress & Industry Reality
14:05 – BetterHelp Ad (Mental Health & Stress)
16:21 – Life Feels Weird Right Now (Discussion)
17:04 – Cruise Ship Comedy & Opportunities
21:13 – Icebreaker: Kid Throws Up in Store
23:02 – Being Recognized (But Not Really 😂)
27:00 – Would You Embarrass Yourself for $500?
27:42 – $1M Button That Kills Someone Debate
31:30 – Factor Meals Ad (Food & Convenience)
34:38 – Nurse Smears Dirty Diaper on Coworker 😳
37:20 – Healthcare Worker Burnout Discussion
42:48 – Hidden Shotgun Bed (Bad Idea 😂)
46:57 – Cash App Ad (Paying Friends Easily)
50:07 – BBQ College Degree in China?!
57:28 – Mint Mobile Ad (Cheap Phone Plans)
01:00:40 – Eating 50,000-Year-Old Meat Story 🤢
01:09:28 – Feet Pics Increase Delivery Tips?!
01:12:27 – Foot Fetish Discussion Gets Personal 😭
01:14:03 – Outro + Upcoming Shows
Transcript
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| 0:24.2 | CrimeCon London, partnered by True Crime Channel, 3rd and 4th of October, 2026. |
| 0:30.2 | You know, the old... |
| 0:32.3 | Oh. |
| 0:36.2 | You know, just... We'll talk out there yeah I'm gonna go to the day I'm gonna go to |
| 0:45.2 | a dinner so I was it how's it feel man today was the first day I felt the pain again |
| 0:52.0 | because I've been doing really good about eating on my right side but boy oh boy I messed around the guy there's no way to get out of this |
| 0:59.5 | I was eating the hot dog and uh I just took a big chunk and I felt it immediately I was like |
| 1:06.7 | that's what I get for eating this that's that's what I get eating this right here. Was this the first one back or had you been dipping? No, this was the first one back. And I'm going to tell you what, it was a 7-Eleven joint because I woke up from a nap. I woke up rushing from a nap, right? And I was like, fuck, I ain't got time to order nothing. |
| 1:27.9 | I had a conference call and I had another call right after that. |
| 1:31.1 | And I was like, let me just run the 7-Eleven real quick. |
| 1:33.4 | I can get this real quick. |
| 1:34.7 | Got it. |
| 1:35.9 | Came back, dressed it up, put the pickle on it, took a bike. |
| 1:40.1 | And I was like, ooh. |
| 1:42.7 | With a tooth injury. |
| 1:49.0 | I know. Okay, so wait. |
| 1:51.0 | Okay, so did it start messing up on set on Friday? |
| 1:56.0 | Or was it before that? |
... |
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