349: Would You Hire Strippers for a Funeral?! on DIYS w/ @YouKnowMaaacus
Dam Internet, You Scary!
Patrick Cloud, Tahir Moore
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 9 April 2026
⏱️ 76 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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@YouKnowMaaacus joins Dam Internet, You Scary! for a fun conversation covering everything from family and culture to wild internet stories and real-life topics.
This episode includes:
the surprising truth about funeral strippers
petty things people secretly judge others for
controversial food conversations (gator, frog legs, more)
a chess player who spent 67 minutes on one move and still lost
the most dangerous jobs in the world
social media negativity and online behavior
gambling risks and real-life consequences
traveling and how it changes your mindset
Marcus also talks about his comedy special “Country Boy in the City” and growing up with strong family values.
Watch the special here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOj1dt3bkdc
A fun conversation with laughs, real talk, and some unexpected topics.
Subscribe for more episodes of Dam Internet, You Scary! featuring conversations, internet stories, and plenty of laughs.
00:00 Intro + Marcus Roast + Suits Conversation
00:02:26 Prom Story + Women’s Blazer Reveal
00:03:07 Living Single Dancer Discussion
00:04:00 Can Soul Train Ever Exist Again?
00:05:08 Club Culture vs Dance Floors Debate
00:06:40 Expensive Clubs + Bottle Service Reality
00:07:35 Worst Comedy Venue Stories
00:10:14 Marcus Smith Introduction
00:11:05 Comedy Special “Country Boy in the City”
00:12:05 Family, Mom, and Southern Upbringing
00:14:27 Living Near Family vs Independence
00:16:32 Icebreaker + Indacloud Ad
00:18:34 Petty Judgments People Won’t Admit
00:20:25 Wild Relationship Confessions Discussion
00:22:46 Controversial Foods (Gator, Frog Legs)
00:32:31 BlueChew Ad
00:33:45 Funeral Strippers Story
00:36:01 Business Idea Joke + Reactions
00:37:05 Chess Player Thinks 67 Minutes and Loses
00:40:15 Viral Chess Drama + Reporting Opponent
00:42:36 Gambling Stories + Rapper Risks
00:44:22 Social Media Negativity Discussion
00:46:12 Rapper Safety + Street Mentality
00:49:17 DaBaby Fan Art Situation
00:50:37 Social Media Toxicity + Division Talk
00:59:05 Ultra Pouches Ad
01:01:00 Importance of Environment + Perspective
01:02:12 Travel Changing Mindset
01:06:51 Happiness Outside America Discussion
01:07:14 Guessing Deadliest Jobs
01:09:01 Deadliest Jobs Revealed
01:11:29 Crab Fishing Dangers Explained
01:13:16 Marcus Smith Plug + Outro
Comment below:
Would you go to a funeral with strippers or is that too far?
Transcript
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| 0:30.8 | We all got on hats today. |
| 0:33.3 | Yeah. |
| 0:34.3 | Marcus going to keep a hat on, though. |
| 0:36.0 | I was about to say, I don't think I've ever seen Marcus in this type of hat. It's always luxurious. Yeah. Hey, Lizzie, I had two podcasts to do y'all today, man. I had that same outfit on, boy. I said, man, Liz. I saw that nigga Marcus last night at the comedy club. That nigga had on a three-piece suit on a Tuesday. I said, hey, man, this nigga dedicated right here. I've never seen this. This is like this first time I'm seeing casual Marcus. Like, in my mind, in my mind, you got full suit on at home, chilling, watching TV. Like, he got a, he got a piece of me. I ain't going to lie. I started to go get one, but I didn't want to see her big muscle. Yeah. How many shoes you on? Last night, like a motherfucker, man. That's a funny. How many suits are on? I got to leave about 30 songs. |
| 1:27.9 | Really? |
| 1:28.7 | Yeah. |
| 1:31.3 | At where you live or just like scattered throughout? You know, they're real, you know what are you to hear? |
| 1:37.3 | Now, maybe like five. |
| 1:39.6 | I got rid of a lot of my suits and I probably only have two that I can fit because I had to get everything altered. |
| 1:46.4 | So I only have two that I got an all black suit that fits and then I have a I think a burgundy, |
| 1:52.7 | I got oxbluff one that fits. |
| 1:54.8 | Everything else I need to take it to the cleanest of Taylor. |
| 1:58.8 | Pat got one. |
| 2:00.1 | Pat got a halversuit. |
| 2:01.4 | He got just a jacket. |
| 2:02.7 | Do you have a suit, Matt? |
| 2:04.9 | Every, okay, every, I've always had at least two suits in my closet. |
... |
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