How do you know if you're happy? Not just in the momentary feeling the emotion of happy sense,

but in the big picture, is this the life I want and will I have regrets when I die sense?

In this episode, I'm going to share what I think is required for a

happy life in the big picture sense and why it sometimes means not feeling

happy in the short term. Welcome to UnFuck your brain.

I'm your host Kara Loyenthile, master certified coach,

and founder of the School of New Feminist Thumb.

I'm here to help you turn down your anxiety, turn up your confidence, and create a life

on your own terms, one that you're truly excited to live. Let's go.

Last night I went to my Let's

last night I went to my good friend Lily's book party. Her book is called Thank You More Please,

and it's the feminist dating book I wish I had a decade ago.

She was on the podcast last week so

you should all check that out. But in any case last night was her release party and

I asked her how she was feeling and she said I mean I'm so happy but also I'm so tired and I'm glad I'm here but I also

want to go home and be alone is that normal and I was like yep very normal because of

course I just went through this myself a few weeks ago and I know that a book launch is a perfect example of the kind of thing that people think will bring them that small age happiness the temporary emotion of happiness but in fact most of the process does not feel happy at all.

It's a lot of work, it can be dispiriting and discouraging, it's challenging, it's a ton of investment

in something you hope will pay off in a certain way.

It's not a little-age small-scale happiness experience most of the time.

But for me, for Lily, it is part of the big H happiness the happiness that means I'm satisfied

and content with my life because I'm living it to the fullest and I'm living in

...