344: McMeth Nuggets

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.9 • 7.5K Ratings

🗓️ 20 August 2025

⏱️ 84 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspod
Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks

🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com
8/29–8/31 – Atlanta, GA
9/4 – Tarrytown, NY
9/5 – Montclair, NJ
9/6 – Montreal, QC (Sold Out)
9/24 – Charleston, SC
9/25 – Durham, NC
9/26 – Portsmouth, VA
9/27 – Oklahoma City, OK (2 shows — incl. NEW + Low Tickets)
10/9 – Des Moines, IA
10/10 – Lincoln, NE
10/11 – Kansas City, MO
10/22–10/23 – Buffalo, NY (New show + Few Tickets Left)
10/24 – Grand Rapids, MI
10/25 – Detroit, MI

🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.com
9/1 – Ontario, CA
9/3 – Hermosa Beach, CA
9/5–9/7 – Portland, OR
9/19–9/21 – Dayton, OH
9/26 – Las Vegas, NV
10/9 – Charleston, SC
10/10 – Atlanta, GA
10/11 – Jacksonville, FL
10/12 – Tampa, FL
10/13 – Tallahassee, FL
10/14 – Sarasota, FL
10/15 – Fort Myers, FL
10/17 – Fort Lauderdale, FL
10/18 – Orlando, FL

0:20 - FIX MOBILE DEPOSIT
1:00 - Trevor doesn’t want T Mobile (Not an AD)
1:30 - Small iPhone Problems
6:00 - Mcdonalds ingredients
8:00 - What’s the difference between a Jar and a can?
10:52 - AD
14:40 - Motivational and De-motivational videos
18:40 - Trevors got a hot take about avocados
23:50 - Trevor has an embarrassing story about poop and a spoon
25:10 - AD
36:00 - The population in Japan is decreasing (people are having with robots instead of people)
37:49 - AD
45:00 - Michaels doctor is way too chill
50:15 - AD
51:39 - Michael can’t smoke in his house
52:00 - Michael celebrated his birthday
58:40 - How to properly apply cologne
01:05:07 - AD AUDIOBOOM
01:05:20 - Learning how to tie a tie
01:08:47 - SOCK TALK
01:15:00 - SOCK TALK 2
01:19:00 - How Michael drys off his back
01:28:00 - SECRET SOCK

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Do you bite ice cream or lick it?
0:02.0	I lick when it's dripping, I bite when it's hard. I'm feeling stupendous. Let's do it. You know what? Are we in? I'm sick of the world telling me how I feel. How about fuck you? How about I feel happy and I'll feel happy? I don't give a shit. I don't give a shit. All right, so I take a picture of a check.
0:23.9	It doesn't go through and there's like, How about fuck you? Okay. How about I feel happy and I'll feel happy? I don't give a shit.
0:21.2	I don't give a shit.
0:22.4	All right.
0:22.8	So I take a picture of a check.
0:23.9	It doesn't go through and there's like make a do it. I can't see it. First of all, fix that. I take a- I yell about it at every show. Fix it. It's the biggest pussy app in the world. right now.
0:33.7	How are you going to tell me
0:34.3	to find a darker surface
0:35.2	and to hold still?
0:36.1	You're a bang.
0:36.6	Shut the fuck up.
0:37.3	How about you
0:38.8	get better stabilization?
0:40.2	Hey.
0:40.7	Hold still.
0:41.2	What if I have Parkinson's? I Yep. What if I'm Michael J Fox? Answer me that riddle me that bitch. Fuck Bank of America. Yeah. No, not fuck Bank of America. Why? Were they gonna sponsor you? you? But yeah, maybe. Dude, you know, I don't give a fuck about his American Airlines.
0:55.4	These motherfuckers are charged.
0:56.5	$29 for Wi-Fi. Kill yourself. Reincarnate, kill yourself again. $29 for Wi-Fi. My heads up. What? Get Team Mobile. You moron. Not an ad, not. Not an ad, but get T-Mobile. Yeah, but telling people I have Team Mobile is almost worse than just getting Team Mobile.
1:12.2	How often do you tell people that you, what carrier you have? Twice a day. Twice a day. Hey, I'll do a Venti, ice, black, frappuccino. Black Frappuccino? That's the new Dave Blunt's album. I don't know. but but you know sometimes do it sometimes you hand your phone to a girl and in the top left, it'll say like Verizon or whatever. Yeah. And she'd be like, eh, email, well, you know, dude, I ever tell you one time I gave my phone to a girl to put her phone number in it? And she goes, oh, you have the small iPhone? And then she deleted her number. I swear to God, at the comedy store. Are you kidding me?
1:44.8	Swear to God.
1:45.6	She deleted.
	...

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