342: Blowhole Bangers
Stiff Socks
Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios
4.9 • 7.5K Ratings
🗓️ 6 August 2025
⏱️ 84 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspod
Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks
Support the pod and get so much extra content for $5/month at https://www.patreon.com/stiffsockspod
Bonus eps also available on Apple Podcasts! https://www.apple.co/socks
🎙️ Michael's tour dates: https://www.blaucomedy.com
8/29–31 – Atlanta, GA
9/4 – Tarrytown, NY
9/5 – Montclair, NJ
9/6 – Montreal, QC (Sold Out)
9/24 – Charleston, SC
9/25 – Durham, NC
9/26 – Portsmouth, VA
9/27 – Oklahoma City, OK (Low Tickets)
10/9 – Des Moines, IA
10/10 – Lincoln, NE
10/11 – Kansas City, MO
10/23 – Buffalo, NY (Low Tickets)
🎙️Trevor's tour dates: https://www.trevorwallacecomedy.com
9/26 – Las Vegas, NV
10/9 – Charleston, SC
10/10 – Atlanta, GA
10/11 – Jacksonville, FL
10/12 – Tampa, FL
10/13 – Tallahassee, FL
10/14 – Sarasota, FL
10/15 – Fort Myers, FL
10/17 – Fort Lauderdale, FL
10/18 – Orlando, FL
Trevor and Michael go off the rails in this chaotic banger of an episode. Trevor nearly boils himself alive in a bathtub to shoot a promo, Michael recalls getting head in a library study room, and somehow we end up deep-diving SeaWorld’s rap concerts. Plus the guys debate dating app cringe, cheese smuggling at In-N-Out, ramen addiction, and whether you should invoice your future kids for being born. Oh, and there’s a woman on TikTok who queefs on command. Enjoy.
O:25 Car chargers and Natural selection
1:00 Trevor burned his legs filming a promo
5:00 Talking Federal Law and the End of Las Vegas
7:50 Getting head in a library
14:30 Michael was almost in Star Wars
20:00 Concerts at Sea World
25:00 Ben Baller goes to the movies
28:00 Have a baby or get a Lambo?
35:00 Taking dates to the shows
38:00 Dating is hard
45:00 Online dating
59:00 Talking with the Canva King
01:05:00 WIZZQUEIFA
01:10:00 Cheap dates
01:15:00 Eating Ramen in college
01:24:00 Sock Talk
01:24:00 Secret Sock
Thanks to: BlueChew, Happy Thursday, HelloFresh, and BetterHelp
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I'm getting ripped tonight. |
| 0:02.0 | RIP tonight. |
| 0:07.0 | Is you queefing or farting? |
| 0:09.0 | Dude, that would be my intro on ARIA voice memo. |
| 0:13.0 | What the fuck is wrong with car? |
| 0:16.0 | Like, you will not charge your phone. |
| 0:18.0 | Make it more powerful. |
| 0:20.0 | They literally put it in there just to say that they have a |
| 0:21.9 | charger. But you're going to put it in there. Make it charge. Yeah, but then if a kid puts its finger on it, |
| 0:28.1 | zapped. But that's what happens. If you're a kid and you put your finger in there and you get |
| 0:35.2 | zapped, you're dead. |
| 0:38.3 | And now you have a last of a kid. |
| 0:39.7 | So it's like a mousetrap for a child's hand. Correct. What is that thing? I was going to say etymology. What is that? Etymame. Etym is great, but no, like, uh, we're, it fucking... Darwinism? Thank you. Natural selection? Literally. That's exactly what I want. Yeah. |
| 0:53.6 | Yeah. Yeah, but then you mess up one day and you forget it. |
| 0:57.1 | Oh, me? |
| 0:58.0 | Yeah, I want. Yeah. |
| 0:55.0 | Yeah, but then you mess up one day and you forget, pf. Oh, me? Yeah, I mean, like, we're both adults and every once in a while you see a hot pan, you go, let me put my finger on this. Too hot. Have you ever done that? Dude, let me tell you something. Okay. I burned my legs yesterday. There's blood clots that like burst on my legs yesterday because I was trying to shoot a promo for this tour announcement where I'm in a bathtub. Okay. And just turn the bath on, right? And I was like, yeah, just go to the hottest thing ever. You know, just turn it on hot to warm it up? And it was like, you know how I'm used to ice baths? I'll float ice baths. I'm like, oh, dude, if I sit in there long enough, I'll acclimate. I was dripping in sweat. |
| 1:31.1 | It's the hot, I felt like I was suveeing myself. I think my legs are medium rare right now. Yeah. He's literally the burst blood clots because I was in there for like 20 minutes. You were in 20 minutes of hot, hot, hot water. Yes. You were fondue. Correct. Fondue. But then I turned the water on cold to try and level it out, but the water was too high so I was about to spill over. Okay. And I was like, all right, fuck it. Let's just get the shot. Hit record. Legs. I'm like, oh, I'll be fine. Dripping sweat. I mean, I get out and then I'm fine. Rinse off. I was like overheated for like an hour. I felt like it was going to faint. And then this morning, I look at my legs. It was like blood clods bursted. |
| 2:04.1 | Shut up. |
| 2:04.8 | Swat! rinse off. I was like overheated for like an hour. I felt like it was going to faint. And then this morning I look at my legs. It was like blood clods bursted. Shut up. Swear. How hot was the water? So hot. I don't know how hot a bathtub can get, but I'm going to sue like Starbucks. You could. There wasn't a hot warning. Yeah. Dude, people make trillions off there. How hot can you make... Excuse me. Chad, J.JBT. How hot? How hot can you make... |
| 2:18.6 | Excuse me? |
| 2:19.7 | Chad, J.GBT. |
... |
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