My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by hook or crow to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there.

Just to bring it out. This is what

compels me to compel them. And I will do it by whatever means necessary. Welcome to the Black

Girls Hill podcast where we talk about healing our intimacy disorders and resolve trauma

and building a healthy relationship with first ourselves and then

others. Every episode, we will talk about advice you can apply today to break unhealthy patterns

and grow in your self-worth. I'm Sheena Lachay, love addiction coach and trauma specialist.

Let's begin.

Thanks for listening to this week's podcast.

Before we get started, let's take a small break to say thank you to this week's sponsors.

Hello, hello, and welcome to the latest episode of Black Girls Heal.

Today we are talking about why your feelings need structure.

So I'm in the middle of writing a book on no contact and helping women use it as a 90-day self-love detox from toxic and unhealthy

relationships. And to do no contact with these types of relationships where you're trauma-bonded,

your feelings are going to get in the way. They're going to get in the way because they are

super loud. They are super strong. They feel as if they are the ultimate truth. And these feelings are

what keeps us connected to people who are doing harm to us, whether or not the harm is emotional,

mental, spiritual, sexual, financial. These are the relationships we need to cut our trauma

bonds with. These are the relationships we need to cut our attachments with. But feelings can feel

so overwhelming that they feel impossible to overpower. And so doing a process like no contact

is going to help you regain your power in situations where you feel powerless.

However, as logically sound as that premise may be, enacting it is incredibly hard. It is one of the

...