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Heal Your Heartbreak

#307 Healing Is Not Linear: When Old Relationship Trauma Resurfaces Years Later

Heal Your Heartbreak

Break Up Bestie

Self-improvement, Relationships, Society & Culture, Education

4.8744 Ratings

🗓️ 3 February 2026

⏱️ 26 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In today's solo episode, I'm sitting down and sharing off the cuff about something unexpected that came up for me in therapy this week—old pain from a toxic relationship I was in over a decade ago. Even though I haven't gone through a breakup in years, this experience reminded me how healing from heartbreak, especially from trauma and narcissistic abuse, happens in layers and isn't always linear. I discuss how triggers from my past appeared in my current marriage, what it's like to feel frustrated that old wounds resurface even after doing so much "work," and how I'm learning to have more compassion for my younger self. This episode isn't about having all the answers, but rather about being honest with the messy parts of the healing journey, processing in real time, and offering support to anyone who feels shame for still being affected by a breakup, no matter how long ago it happened.


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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Last year, in the midst of a very stressful time in my life, I turned back to my old vaping

0:06.0

habit, which I didn't love.

0:07.6

I know it's not the best for me, but as you know, when you're going through a very

0:10.9

stressful time, like a breakup, sometimes we cope in ways just to make it through the day,

0:16.2

and that's okay.

0:17.9

Quit with Jones has helped me get back on track with my quitting goals, and I've

0:22.0

been loving their science-backed and FDA-approved nicotine mince. I haven't used to vape in months,

0:27.6

and I have no intention of going back. Whether you're trying to quit or cut back,

0:32.1

Jones makes it easier to follow through. I love that the Jones mints come in a chic and discreet tin that's easy to carry

0:39.3

and perfect for social settings. And they have an app to track my progress and connect with

0:44.1

60,000 other quitters when I need extra motivation. If your New Year's resolution is to quit or even

0:50.7

just to use nicotine in a healthier way, check out quit with Jones.

0:55.0

Visit quitwithjones.com slash heartbreak to take the free quiz and use code heartbreak

1:00.2

to get 15% off your personalized quitting journey. That's quitwithjones.com slash heartbreak.

1:07.6

Taking back control starts now. Thanks to quit with Jones for sponsoring this episode.

1:13.5

And just a heads up, the mints contain nicotine, which is an addictive chemical. Jones is FDA

1:18.6

approved and available for those that are 18 and older. The older I get, the more I value comfort

1:24.2

in what I spend my day in, and that starts with my bras and underwear. No longer

1:29.0

can I wear things with harsh seams or constricting bands, and that's why I have been wearing

1:34.1

exclusively skims underwear and bras for the last three years. I've been wearing their thongs and

1:39.5

brawlets for years, and I recently got their boy shorts from their Fits Everybody collection to sleep in.

1:45.6

And it is truly one of the most comfortable things I've ever had on my body.

...

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