#308 Understanding Limerence and Longing with Amanda McCracken

Heal Your Heartbreak

Break Up Bestie

Self-improvement, Relationships, Society & Culture, Education

4.8 • 744 Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2026

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In today's expert episode, I'm joined by journalist and author Amanda McCracken to dive deep into the topics of longing and limerence—those intense, ruminating crushes or obsessions that can stick with us for years, even decades. Amanda shares her very personal journey with limerence, what it was like to struggle with it long before the term became widely known, and how it intersected with her romantic life and late-in-life virginity. We talk about the addictive pull of longing, why emotionally unavailable people can feel so magnetic, and how societal influences like rom-coms and social media can amp up these feelings. Amanda also shares practical advice and her road to recovery, including how she eventually shifted out of these patterns to find real intimacy with her now-husband. If you're going through a breakup, struggling to let go, or finding yourself stuck in obsessive thoughts about an ex, this conversation will hit home and give you hope that healing—and even real love—are possible.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Last year, in the midst of a very stressful time in my life, I turned back to my old vaping
0:06.0	habit, which I didn't love.
0:07.6	I know it's not the best for me, but as you know, when you're going through a very
0:10.9	stressful time, like a breakup, sometimes we cope in ways just to make it through the day,
0:16.2	and that's okay.
0:17.9	Quit with Jones has helped me get back on track with my quitting goals, and I've
0:22.0	been loving their science-backed and FDA-approved nicotine mince. I haven't used to vape in months,
0:27.6	and I have no intention of going back. Whether you're trying to quit or cut back,
0:32.1	Jones makes it easier to follow through. I love that the Jones mints come in a chic and discreet tin that's easy to carry
0:39.3	and perfect for social settings. And they have an app to track my progress and connect with
0:44.1	60,000 other quitters when I need extra motivation. If your New Year's resolution is to quit or even
0:50.7	just to use nicotine in a healthier way, check out quit with Jones.
0:55.0	Visit quitwithjones.com slash heartbreak to take the free quiz and use code heartbreak
1:00.2	to get 15% off your personalized quitting journey. That's quitwithjones.com slash heartbreak.
1:07.6	Taking back control starts now. Thanks to quit with Jones for sponsoring this episode.
1:13.5	And just a heads up, the mints contain nicotine, which is an addictive chemical. Jones is FDA
1:18.6	approved and available for those that are 18 and older. The older I get, the more I value comfort
1:24.2	in what I spend my day in, and that starts with my bras and underwear. No longer
1:29.0	can I wear things with harsh seams or constricting bands, and that's why I have been wearing
1:34.1	exclusively skims underwear and bras for the last three years. I've been wearing their thongs and
1:39.5	brawlets for years, and I recently got their boy shorts from their Fits Everybody collection to sleep in.
1:45.6	And it is truly one of the most comfortable things I've ever had on my body.
	...

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