#243: How to Create Healthy, Balanced Relationships with Nedra Glover Tawwab
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 24 March 2026
⏱️ 44 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, I’m joined by therapist, bestselling author, and boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab for a powerful conversation on what it really means to have healthy dependency in our relationships.
So many of us find ourselves swinging between two extremes — overgiving, people-pleasing, and losing ourselves in others… or shutting down, becoming hyper-independent, and struggling to let anyone in.
But what does the middle ground actually look like?
Together, we explore the spectrum between codependency and hyper-independence, and how both patterns — while protective — can ultimately leave us feeling disconnected and unfulfilled.
This conversation goes beyond romantic relationships. We talk about friendships, family, community, and the importance of having a diverse support system rather than expecting one person to meet all of our needs.
We also unpack:
- Why “healthy dependency” isn’t a weakness, but a fundamental human need
- How codependency and hyper-independence develop as adaptations
- The role of boundaries in creating sustainable, respectful relationships
- Why over-focusing on the why behind someone’s behaviour can keep us stuck
- How to stop over-functioning in relationships and recalibrate your energy
- The importance of having multiple sources of connection and support
- Why doing the “uncomfortable thing” is often the path to secure relationships
Nedra shares practical, grounded insights on how to move away from extremes and towards more balanced, flexible, and connected ways of relating.
If you’ve ever struggled with asking for help, felt resentful in relationships, or found yourself stuck in the same relational patterns, this episode will give you a clear and compassionate framework for doing things differently.
Connect with Nedra Glover Tawwab:
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Now, are all the traitors present? Let's get started, shall we? From rags to riches. I'm so sick of this. |
| 0:07.0 | Working like a dog and being treated worse. Yorkshire to New York. Poor climbers, you and me. |
| 0:12.4 | A life dedicated to revenge. Let's make this an occasion to remember. A woman of substance on Channel 4, |
| 0:19.1 | stream now. Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. |
| 0:23.9 | In today's episode, I am joined by Nedra Glover Taub, who is a licensed therapist and best-selling author, |
| 0:31.6 | and we are talking all about how to create healthy dependency in our relationships. |
| 0:36.8 | Nedra has written several books now, |
| 0:39.1 | Set Boundaries Find Peace, Drama Free, and today's conversation is inspired by her most recent |
| 0:44.5 | release, The Balancing Act. So if you're someone who has struggled with patterns of either self-abandonment |
| 0:51.3 | and codependency on one end or hyper-independence on the other |
| 0:55.3 | or you've been in relationship with anyone who exhibits those patterns, I think you'll find |
| 0:59.7 | today's discussion really helpful in mapping out what does a middle ground look like between |
| 1:05.8 | those two extremes. And I think many of you will really enjoy today's conversation because |
| 1:10.3 | it's not exclusively |
| 1:11.3 | talking about romantic relationships. |
| 1:13.4 | We actually talk a lot about friendship, community relationships and family relationships as |
| 1:19.2 | well. |
| 1:19.5 | So it really is a conversation for everyone. |
| 1:22.0 | And I trust that you'll get a lot out of it. |
| 1:24.0 | So without further ado, here is my conversation with Nedra Glover Talog. |
| 1:28.8 | Nedra, thank you so much for being here with me. So today we're going to be talking all about |
| 1:33.9 | healthy interdependency, what it looks like to find that balance in ourselves and in our |
... |
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