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Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. In today's Ask Steff episode,

I'm answering the listener question of,

how would I know if I'm stuck on a loop of self-improvement and how can I locate my

blind spots around this?

So I love this question because I think it's really astute and names something that a lot of

people experience without maybe realizing it, which is when self-improvement

and personal development actually becomes this veiled attempt at proving our worthiness or

fixing ourselves and dealing with the shame and inadequacy that we feel underneath it all. And I think that that's a

really unfortunate byproduct of this whole world of healing and growth and development.

Obviously, it's something that I'm a huge proponent of and I hope is not a problem that I

contribute to. I certainly try to be really

careful in the way that I position this work, not as being something that you have to do in order

to fix yourself or treating yourself as some sort of problem to be solved because I really

fundamentally disagree with that framing

of why we do this work. I think that our quote unquote healing work is really an ongoing

process of homecoming, of becoming more grounded and at peace within ourselves, rather than having to

endlessly optimize or improve, which as a side note is why I don't really like the term

self-improvement. And all of that sits alongside a very genuine belief that I have of like,

yeah, wanting to grow and to course correct and

...