#242: When Does Self-Improvement Become Self-Sabotage? (Ask Steph)
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 19 March 2026
⏱️ 7 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question about the fine line between personal growth and the endless pursuit of self-improvement.
While healing, reflection, and growth are powerful tools, they can sometimes become another way we reinforce the belief that something about us is fundamentally wrong or needs fixing. When that happens, self-development can quietly turn into a hamster wheel driven by shame, perfectionism, or a sense of inadequacy.
In this episode, I explore how to recognise when the pursuit of growth is useful and worthwhile —and when it might actually be keeping you stuck.
I also share some reflections on why the deeper goal of healing work isn’t to endlessly optimise ourselves, but to become more grounded, peaceful, and at home within who we already are.
Links
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | The weight is over. Last One Laughing is back and it's even more brutal than last time. Share your biggest regrets. I don't regret this hair cut. What did you ask for? The Shaggy Slim Shady? Joining us this series we have... Romish Wengrenner Nathan, Diane Morgan, David Mitchell, Mel Gedroich, Amy Gledhill, Alan Carr, Bemi Sola, Ike Mello, Sam Campbell, Maisie Adam and Bob Mortimer. Anyone want a song? |
| 0:23.3 | No. |
| 0:24.3 | Last One Laughing, new series, watch now, only on Prime Video. |
| 0:30.1 | Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. In today's Ask Steff episode, |
| 0:36.0 | I'm answering the listener question of, |
| 0:38.2 | how would I know if I'm stuck on a loop of self-improvement and how can I locate my |
| 0:43.8 | blind spots around this? |
| 0:45.8 | So I love this question because I think it's really astute and names something that a lot of |
| 0:51.7 | people experience without maybe realizing it, which is when self-improvement |
| 0:56.9 | and personal development actually becomes this veiled attempt at proving our worthiness or |
| 1:03.6 | fixing ourselves and dealing with the shame and inadequacy that we feel underneath it all. And I think that that's a |
| 1:13.4 | really unfortunate byproduct of this whole world of healing and growth and development. |
| 1:20.9 | Obviously, it's something that I'm a huge proponent of and I hope is not a problem that I |
| 1:27.1 | contribute to. I certainly try to be really |
| 1:30.4 | careful in the way that I position this work, not as being something that you have to do in order |
| 1:36.9 | to fix yourself or treating yourself as some sort of problem to be solved because I really |
| 1:42.9 | fundamentally disagree with that framing |
| 1:46.2 | of why we do this work. I think that our quote unquote healing work is really an ongoing |
| 1:55.1 | process of homecoming, of becoming more grounded and at peace within ourselves, rather than having to |
| 2:04.4 | endlessly optimize or improve, which as a side note is why I don't really like the term |
| 2:10.1 | self-improvement. And all of that sits alongside a very genuine belief that I have of like, |
| 2:16.9 | yeah, wanting to grow and to course correct and |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Stephanie Rigg, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Stephanie Rigg and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.

