#241: How to Date from Self-Worth
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 17 March 2026
⏱️ 18 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Modern dating can be tough. Between apps, ghosting, and the uncertainty that often comes with meeting strangers outside our social circles, the whole process can be seriously activating — and all the more so for those with anxious attachment patterns.
In this episode, I share three key mindset shifts to help you approach dating from a place of self-worth rather than scarcity, pessimism, or the need to be chosen.
When you date from a grounded place, the focus shifts from seeking approval to assessing alignment—and that change alone can transform your experience of dating.
In this episode, I cover:
- Why modern dating can be particularly challenging for people with anxious attachment
- The importance of getting clear on your non-negotiables and deal breakers before you start dating
- Why tolerating situationships and ambiguous connections keeps you stuck
- The difference between scanning for red flags and looking for green flags
- How fear-based dating advice can increase anxiety and erode self-trust
- Why cultivating your own vitality and wellbeing changes the energy you bring to dating
- How shifting from “please choose me” to “are we aligned?” creates healthier connections
- Why it’s sometimes wise to take a break from dating apps if the process feels draining
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Now, are all the traitors present? |
| 0:02.0 | Let's get started, shall we? |
| 0:04.0 | From rags to riches. |
| 0:06.0 | I'm so sick of this. |
| 0:07.0 | Working like a dog and being treated worse. |
| 0:09.0 | Yorkshire to New York. |
| 0:10.0 | Poor climbers, you and me. |
| 0:12.0 | A life dedicated to revenge. |
| 0:14.0 | Let's make this an occasion to remember. |
| 0:16.0 | A Woman of Substance on Channel 4. |
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| 0:39.9 | Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. |
| 0:44.0 | In today's episode, we are talking all about dating and how to really upgrade your dating |
| 0:50.0 | mindset and date from a place of self-worth rather than scarcity or pessimism or defeat. |
| 0:59.0 | And I do want to acknowledge at the outset that modern dating is really hard. |
... |
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