Welcome to UnFuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism, and coaching to rewire your brain

and get what you want in life.

And now here's your host.

Harvard Law School grad, Feminist Rockstar, and Master Coach,

Kara Loyenthyle.

Hello my chickens, how are your roost today? That's where chickens sleep I think.

It is officially spring and yet it snowed here in New York today, which I just think is really unacceptable, and we should have a word with someone about that.

So anyway, in spring, as we all know, a young man's fancies turn to love, that's how the same goes, and a woman's fancies turn to obsessive anxiety about text messages and what they mean.

So today I want to teach you one of my favorite tools for revolutionizing your love life.

And then be clear, this is true whether you're on a first date or you've been married for 20 years.

It's not really about text messages.

And it actually works for non-dating relationships too but I see

this thought error in dating so much more so that's where I'm gonna really focus on it.

So I call this want versus need.

Now the current kind of self-helpy empowerment literature

is just chockful to the brim of the idea

that people should meet each other's needs, right?

How often have you heard this?

We are taught through this kind of literature

and this social construct right now,

which is very much of just a certain historical cultural moment.

This is not how everybody has always thought.

...