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Black Girls Heal

#225: Practicing Healthy Non-Attachment vs Avoidance for Self-Love

Black Girls Heal

Shena Lashey

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.81.7K Ratings

🗓️ 2 January 2024

⏱️ 56 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, Shena reviews the differences between being non-attached to others opinions and outcomes versus being avoidant, how this contributes to our self esteem and the trauma that gets in the way of moving in this direction.


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Transcript

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0:00.0

My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by Hooker Crow to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there and just to bring it out.

0:21.0

This is what compels me to compel them and I will do it by whatever

0:26.4

means necessary.

0:29.4

Welcome to the Black Girls Hill Podcast, where we talk about healing our intimacy disorders and

0:34.3

resolve trauma and building a healthy relationship with first ourselves and

0:38.4

then others. Every episode we will talk about advice you can apply today to break unhealthy patterns

0:44.3

and grow in your self-worth. I'm She Nila Shay, Love Edition coach and

0:48.7

Trauma Specialist. Let's begin.

0:58.0

Hello, hello, and welcome to the latest episode of Black Girls Heel. I am so, so, so, so, so, excited to share our first episode of 2024 where we are starting our winter series so

1:08.9

for those of you who don't know I dropped an episode on New Year's Eve of 2023 and said that I felt very compelled to make

1:16.8

sure that we started our new year really setting ourselves up for success as love addicts and love avoidance and those who struggle with

1:25.2

love deprivation and all the trauma that comes with that I wanted to make sure

1:29.6

that we set ourselves up to reach all the goals that we have, whether or not it is all intra personally,

1:36.3

so within our relationship with ourselves, in our relationships with others, what we feel like we are capable of and deserving of in our career and our finances and of course in love and for us to do that I wanted us to do to have a special focus on the things that I feel like as love addicts a lot of times can set us behind.

1:57.4

And so for the next, we're going to have a four-part series where we're going to focus on things regarding our relationship with ourselves, things regarding our relationships with our mothers, our mother-born trauma, and of course family trauma will be a part of that.

2:11.0

We're going to look at our relationship with money, which is so, so personal, so intimate.

2:17.6

And I've been talking about, I was talking about money trauma for maybe a couple years now, and so I'm really excited that this is

2:24.1

finally going to happen and we're going to talk about you know poverty trauma we're

2:29.6

going to talk about workaholeism we're going to talk about under Ernie we're going to talk about all the ways that are maybe struggles with

2:37.3

sense of self or with security and again trauma will show up in our everyday life and then of course as always we are going to talk about our

2:47.4

Interpersonal relationships in romantic context with a special focus on men. So we are starting off today the first episode in our

2:57.2

I'm calling each of the months have their own little nicknames and so if you've

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