#209: 5 Green Flags in Early Dating
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 7 October 2025
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When you’re anxiously attached, it’s easy to fixate on red flags and warning signs — scanning for danger in the early stages of dating. But if you’re always looking for what’s wrong, you might miss the important signs that you’re with someone who’s actually safe, caring, and aligned with you.
In this episode, we shift the focus to green flags — the encouraging behaviours and feelings that can help you recognise when a connection has potential. You’ll learn why these signs matter, how they can soothe an anxious system, and how to pay attention to the way you feel in someone’s presence.
We’ll explore:
- Why paying attention to how you feel around someone can be more telling than analysing their every move
- The importance of being remembered and feeling genuinely seen
- Signs of sincerity, effort, and sustained interest (and how they differ from love-bombing)
- The role of humour, playfulness, and ease in creating a healthy connection
If you’re ready to reframe your approach to dating and start recognising when something is right for you, this episode will help you spot the cues that matter most.
Highlighted Links
- Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
- Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
Additional Resources
- Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
- Join my email list 💌
- Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
- Visit my website
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships. |
| 0:19.7 | I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg, |
| 0:22.8 | and I'm really glad you're here. |
| 0:28.4 | Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. In today's episode we are talking |
| 0:34.2 | about five green flags to look for in early dating. So I think a lot of the |
| 0:40.5 | conversation around dating tends to focus on warning signs or red flags or things to look out for. |
| 0:48.5 | And while, of course, discernment is important and while having clear standards and boundaries is important, |
| 0:55.7 | this is something I teach in pretty much all of my programs. |
| 0:58.7 | I also think that the tendency in the broader discourse to focus on all of the things that could |
| 1:05.5 | go wrong and all of the ways in which people are out to get you is really unhelpful, |
| 1:10.0 | and particularly for people who |
| 1:11.4 | are anxious as a starting point. And I've done many episodes in the past about anxiety in early |
| 1:17.7 | dating and why it makes so much sense that people with anxious attachment patterns would |
| 1:22.6 | experience a lot of anxiety in early dating due to the inherent uncertainty and all of our tendencies |
| 1:29.6 | towards people pleasing and approval seeking and maybe struggling with insecurities and low |
| 1:34.9 | self-esteem. All of that really primes us to feel quite vulnerable and a little wobbly when it |
| 1:42.2 | comes to early dating. And so I think with that as the backdrop, |
| 1:46.8 | layering in all of this advice that's telling you about all of the red flags and all of the, |
| 1:52.2 | you know, narcissists and the love bombing and that all of that stuff that, you know, |
| 1:56.4 | if you've been around here a while, you would know that I don't really buy into, and I certainly |
| 2:00.7 | don't use that language, and I certainly don't |
| 2:00.9 | use that language in my work. I think that orienting towards green flags or things to look for, |
... |
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