not the shame

hey we're recording the podcast

shut up

good morning to you

wherever you are because it is

morning subway

for may 19th

2026 my name is

Bernie Burns sitting right over there

she looks like she's had it it's Ashley Burns hi to Ashley everybody I have had Six, my name is Bernie Burns sitting right over there.

She looks and she's had it.

It's Ashley Burns.

Hi to Ashley.

I have had it.

I'm very upset this morning.

Are you upset?

I am because there's not like a lot of like big, big, big news happening right at the moment. So instead, first thing in the morning, I'm hitting the face with poor American

tourist behavior because an American tourist jumped into the enclosure of Ponce the Baby Monkey

in Japan. And I'm mad about it. So dumb. I mean, for one, um, you think tourists are influencers,

right? They just happened to be- Were the influencers? Oh, gross. What's the barrier to be called an influencer? Is there one? I mean, it's just like anyone's a... You have an iPhone and an Instagram account. You're an influencer. I guess that's true, right? It's like, influencer is a state of mind. Right. Pass their courses and, like, get certified by the board. I'm a fully licensed influencer.

They didn't have to like pass their version of the bar. I hope these fuckers go to prison.

I really do. I hope they go to fucking prison. Remember when they got that kid,

...