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The Offensive

2019/20 SEASON: Deadline Day

The Offensive

2018/19 Season

Parody, Alan Partridge, Fiction, Spoof, Satire, Mockumentary, Sports, Comedy Fiction, Comedy, Soccer, Football

4.8739 Ratings

🗓️ 8 August 2019

⏱️ 40 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

After a summer of discontent, another managerial sacking and a few (mostly Dutch) signings, the new season is almost underway. 


With the initial difficulties of the transfer window, Ashwood's troubles deepen after the release of an indecent image allegedly picturing a member of the playing staff. 


Paul Waggott as Patrick Nolan

Helena Doughty as Jess Tate

Adam Jarrell as Chris 'Woody' Woodall  

Victoria Gibson as Alex Morrison


Additional Voices:

Allon Sylvain

John Brannoch

Rhys Tees

Nalan Burgess

Thomas Mitchells


Directed by:

Adam Jarrell

Episode written by:

Joel Emery  

Edited by:

Adam Jarrell 

Executive Producer:

Joel Emery


WARNING. This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.


This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to persons living or deceased, organisations, places or events is purely coincidental. All scenarios are from the author's imagination. This podcast is protected under copyright. Listener discretion is advised.



Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:22.9

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0:30.0

With a set for life from the National Lottery, you could win on repeat. Imagine 10,000 pounds every month for 30 years.

0:40.8

You could shred the slopes in Baldurz's air.

0:43.9

Then chill on a Caribbean beach.

0:46.7

Then taste your way through Tokyo.

0:49.8

Then back home.

0:51.8

So bolt off to...

0:55.2

Set for life.

0:57.4

Play now and the National Lottery app.

0:58.8

Terms, rules and procedures apply.

0:59.9

Players must be 18 or over.

1:02.7

Warning.

1:05.5

This podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

1:08.6

This is a work of fiction.

1:10.0

Any similarities to persons living or deceased,

1:12.6

organisations, places or events is purely coincidental.

1:16.2

This podcast is protected under copyright.

1:18.7

Listener discretion is advised.

1:20.4

This is the offensive.

1:24.5

It's a European football for the first time in 15 years, it's Adyemi, it's a Penanka, straight down the middle.

1:34.8

Ashwood are heading to Europe.

...

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