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Perfect Person

170: seducing my little sister's school bus driver (w/ Gabby Bryan)

Perfect Person

Miles Bonsignore

Comedy

51.4K Ratings

🗓️ 8 October 2025

⏱️ 62 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Gabby Bryan joins the show to take stunning calls from callers about successfully getting your sex toys inside while on vacation, banging your sisters school bus driver, and extorting maple syrup from your ex boyfriend.


      -Weekly Bonus episodes every Friday & ad-free extended version of this episode)



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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is a headgum podcast.

0:17.4

Hello and welcome to Perfect Person, the show where I'm Perfect and you're, of course, a person.

0:25.6

Recently, I've been revolutionizing everything about my life.

0:32.5

I've been wearing my jeans, even though it's hot.

0:38.4

Because I cut the bottom of the jeans off by wearing burghinstocks with no socks.

0:43.0

And that's my air conditioning.

0:45.1

That is my sort of saving grace that I'm able to cool my legs via bottom vent.

0:51.7

And of course, it only works a little. But obviously I'm here and I'm joined by Gabby

0:58.8

Brian. I'm foaming at the mouth to comment. I'm foaming at the mouth to comment. Gabby,

1:05.0

welcome to the show. Please talk to me about, um, my, my thoughts. Okay, so huge moment when you realize that ankles need air.

1:13.0

Well, of course they do, but the problem is I was sort of reading, and by the way, as we're talking, I just want to know what I'm looking at right here. I see a mosquito. Get it. And there's a single mosquito and it's circling me. Get it now. I see it. You see it? Oh my fucking God. No, That'll come towards me and it'll bite me in the face.

1:26.9

I literally get bit by mosquitoes in my ankles.

1:29.4

I'm scarred.

1:30.2

I'm wounded.

1:30.7

Well, that's the scary part. You see it? You see it? Oh, my fucking God. No, because that'll come towards me and it'll bite me in the face. No, I literally get bit by mosquitoes in my ankles.

1:29.4

I'm scarred.

1:30.2

I'm wounded.

1:30.7

Well, that's the scary part about revealing your ankles to the universe is that the mosquitoes love them. And I have to. Oh, my God. Do you see him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have to entrap him. I have to entrap him on my foot.

1:40.4

I'm freaking out.

1:41.2

Go, get on my foot.

1:42.2

Land, land, land, land, land, land, land.

1:44.2

Do you see him?

...

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