You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here. Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, we're talking about three fights that you've probably had if you're in

an anxious avoidant relationship, if you've been in an anxious avoidant relationship in the past,

or indeed, if you embark upon a relationship in the future with an anxious avoidant dynamic,

you're likely to have some version of these conflicts. So for anyone who is new here,

who's uninitiated in this language,

when I say an anxious avoidant relationship, I'm referring to a relationship between someone

who leans more anxious in their attachment style and someone who leans more avoidant in their attachment

style. This is a very, very common pairing. It's very common for people with these attachment styles to be drawn to each other,

and yet there can be a lot of challenges in that dynamic,

because on the surface at least, your attachment needs and wounds

tend to sit at opposite ends of the spectrum,

and it's really easy if you're not conscious and not aware to just trigger the hell out

of each other., you know,

for each of your habitual responses to reinforce the other person's fears and insecurities

and thereby really emboldened them in their protective mechanisms, their protective

stances, and on and on it goes. So today's episode is really about, I suppose, normalising some of these

conflicts that you've likely had if you're in your relationship and thinking, why does this

feel so hard and why do we keep fighting about these things? I'm hoping that you'll feel very seen

by today's episode, particularly by the specificity of some of the examples that I'm going to

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