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On Attachment

#146: How to Reconcile Conflicting Relationship Advice

On Attachment

Stephanie Rigg

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 July 2024

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Have you ever found yourself seeking out relationship advice online only to be bombarded with pages of seemingly conflicting and contradictory opinions? If so, you're not alone - and today's episode is for you. I'm going to be sharing 5 examples of contradictory relationship advice that you may have encountered and struggled to make sense of, so that you can understand the nuances and practise discernment in finding the right way forward for you.

We cover:

  • going after a life you love AND learning to be content with what you have
  • knowing what you want in a partner AND not being overly prescriptive
  • not dating someone for their potential AND wanting someone you can grow with
  • not changing yourself to earn someone's love AND wanting to be your best self to attract a healthy partner
  • the importance of feeling your feelings AND knowing when it's okay to distract yourself 

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Transcript

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0:00.0

You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

0:19.8

I'm your host, Relationship Coach Stephanie Rigg,

0:22.8

and I'm really glad you're here. Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

0:33.6

In today's episode, we're talking all about how to make sense of conflicting relationship advice.

0:39.4

So I think that in the online world in particular, but maybe even outside of that,

0:45.9

we are pretty constantly bombarded with different opinions, you know, different ideas,

0:52.1

different advice on how to navigate relationships. And while you could say,

0:57.1

you're having so much input and information can be supportive and can allow us to really learn

1:05.1

more about ourselves and cultivate, you know, more awareness of our patterns and insights and all of those things, which we could say

1:12.1

is a positive. I think it's undeniable that at times it could feel almost like a bombardment.

1:17.9

And for those of us who are maybe a little lacking in self-trust or maybe, you know,

1:24.5

prone to doubting ourselves second-guessing things.

1:32.3

I'm having so much information and so much conflicting information, particularly when delivered maybe without nuance or context with a lot of certainty, it can be really hard to know

1:38.3

what's true or what's right for me. And so I'm going to go through today a few sets of conflicting advice, not with a view

1:47.5

so much to determining for you, which is true or right, but rather, I suppose, elucidating

1:54.0

the reasons why all of it can be true. And I think so much of, you know, developing a stronger

2:00.7

sense of self-trust

2:02.7

and discernment is being able to ascertain, well, is this right for me rather than is this

2:08.7

objectively true? In a general sense, is this applicable to everyone? So teasing out, I suppose,

2:16.6

when, where, why you might, you you might find certain advice resonates with you and

2:21.3

why you might leave other advice as not being applicable to you or not being, you know, the thing

2:27.4

that you need. So that's what we're going to be talking about today. Before I get into that,

...

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