Oh, story, you are all that is wholesome, like the savory bun of an Arby's classic beef and cheddar.

You are mysterious, like the tantalizing ingredients in Arby's sauce.

Neither are you fleeting, unlike the Arby's crispy fish sandwich

available for a limited time only at participating Arby's locations. Story, you are the Arby's

of stories. And for that, I hark, hark! This story must be told.

This story must be told. Well, it's just me up here today.

Because somebody didn't approve my BTO.

Thanks a lot, Chalms.

And I'm here all alone like a jerk,

while Brother Reed, Sister Callista, and even Devin

get to spend the afternoon at the grand opening

of the first ever all ages play place at the Arby's on West Sunset Boulevard.

I can see them now, slipping down the loaded curly fry fun slide.

I can hear the buffalo chicken sliders sloshing in their tummies as they play tag in the potato cakes ball pit.

Hey, uh, Tevin, pass the horsy sauce.

Aren't you, duh, glad Pastor Andrew is in here?

Yeah, brother, Reed.

He's a real sandwich between two pieces of shit.

Let's not even call and ask if he wants anything.

Duh, sounds good to me.

Want to get another smokehouse brisket

and play in the cheddar cheese sauce splash zone that sounds good

...