Today is June 22nd, and you know what that means.

That's right.

Every June 22nd, the story updates all the bird noises for the next calendar year.

Cardinals, who for the past year, went, betweet, betweet, will now say,

above us in the trees, because the story wills it, and the story must be told.

The story must be told.

Penguins, who spent the past year going, awat, awat, awak, will now go,

but that's just a taste, and you won't learn another new bird noise until after this exclusive one-of-a-kind story with a very special guest.

Brother Reed, thanks, Pastor Andrew.

Today, a dear congregate will make his story debut.

He co-hosts the Do You Need a Ride podcast with Karen Kilgariff?

And he has a new comedy album coming out in July on 800-pound gorilla records called The Rescue Cactus album.

Congregants, uh, let's give a warm welcome to Monsignor, Chris Fairbanks.

Chris, Chris, Chris Fairbanks.

Thank you, Brother Reed. I'm happy to be here. I'm excited to be here.

And let me just say, your skin is blemish-free, like a newborn child. What a scamp.

From the book of stories adjacent to pickup trucks, written by Pickup Rick, a story titled Bad Bad Big Willie.

My contact picked me up outside my apartment. I thought someone working for the military would drive a sedan or like a fancy SUV. My contact drove an old pickup truck.

Morning sunshine, I told him. It was still dark. I couldn't see his eyes behind the sunglasses.

Get in. I walked to the passenger side and threw my baggage, a single plastic bag with underwear, two DVDs, and

three CDs, onto the floor.

The seats were all cut up.

...