121. It Was A Saturday ...

The Story Must Be Told

The Last Podcast Network

Arts

4.8 • 530 Ratings

🗓️ 23 February 2021

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Here is the Story! Don’t get distracted! Not like I did at Taddy’s wedding, when the horse got loose. You see, a horse must learn every lesson with one eye then the other. Myself, I’ve always been left-eyed. Now, my uncle was right-eyed, but this was because of an incident at a barbecue with a long fork. Forks of over 5 inches in length should be classified as weapons, unless a person’s arm is so short that long utensils are not objects of violence, but convenience. I haven’t measured my arms for over a month now. Invocation Petitions for Honorable Congregants Liturgical Reading: “It Was A Saturday Morning When Arthur Kurtz Came To The Terrible Realization The Day's Obligations Were Far More Complicated Than Anticipated” Concluding Prayer Our first book of PSALMS: www.thestorymustbetold.com A lil bit of MERCH: https://topatoco.com/collections/tsmbt A healthy glop of PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt

Transcript

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0:00.0	The Oh, Story, you are our nightmare, and we are but players on the stage of your yearly community theater production.
0:35.7	We are players subjected to a brutal audition process.
0:40.3	We are thespians, subjected to even worse rehearsals
0:44.3	where you so confidently points out our insecurities,
0:48.3	ones we weren't even aware we had.
0:51.3	May we all be replaced by younger, more attractive understudies. The story must be
0:57.9	told.
0:58.4	This story must be told. For many of you, maybe even me, there will be no applause when the curtain
1:07.6	drops on your life. I know, it's a good one.
1:11.8	And I see some of you squirming in the front.
1:13.8	It's true.
1:14.5	I hate to break it to you, Charlie.
1:16.4	And I do see some smiles in the back.
1:18.6	Y'all back there are speaking my fucking language.
1:22.0	But who among us will get that big standing ovation?
1:26.0	Who will be the talk of the traits, the cats meow, the next hot thing?
1:31.0	The new brat pack, perhaps?
1:33.7	Well, of course, the answer is simple.
1:37.4	Those who will have eternal fame in the book of the story are the Platinum Star Plus members of our Patreon.
1:44.6	www.com slash DSMVT.
1:48.4	And today, we cheer our newest congregants on.
1:51.8	Brother Reed, come on out here.
	...

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