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Black Girls Heal

#109: Being Healed and Loved Woman at All Times

Black Girls Heal

Shena Lashey

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.81.8K Ratings

🗓️ 17 August 2021

⏱️ 53 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s that time again. It’s time for a refresher on what it means to be a healed and loved woman as developed in our three part framework. Listen in to hear the framework again and what you need to do to move from love addiction, avoidance, or anorexia to being a healed and loved woman. 

I’m starting it all off with love addiction. So many women are stuck in a cycle of love addiction and aren’t sure how to get out of it. Oftentimes we think of sex addiction as something separate but it’s really another facet of being addicted to love. It’s just manifested in the physical. 

When you’re love avoidant you’re perfectly happy to just relax and keep yourself away from love. Many times wives and mothers hide love avoidance through the actions of taking care of others, but you still need love. 

Love anorexia is a short-lived stage, but it’s one that is prolonged when you’re not balanced. Love anorexia or love deprivation results in women living in a fantasy world. Usually this disorder is triggered by a bad relationship and then swearing off love, but when you live a balanced life you no longer need dramatic swings. 

Intimacy disorders are complex, but with the right guidance you can leave them behind and live a balanced and fulfilled life. Listen in to hear more. Which of these do you identify with? 

In this episode: 

  • [00:34] Welcome back! Get ready to refresh your knowledge on the Healed & Loved Woman framework. 
  • [03:25] Learn more about the three intimacy disorders that I discuss on this podcast. 
  • [06:37] The signs of being a love addict. 
  • [08:32] Ways sex is used to create a deeper connection but it doesn’t necessarily work. 
  • [11:32] Signs that you may struggle with love avoidance. 
  • [14:45] Personal attributes you may have when you’re love avoidant. 
  • [17:35] Love avoidant women want nothing more than to just relax. 
  • [18:14] Do you have love anorexia? 
  • [21:56] Love deprived ladies will often build lives built on fantasies. 
  • [23:36] How did the term “love anorexia” come about? 
  • [26:57] Join our From Avoidant to Available program.
  • [28:33] The swings that love avoidant and love anorexic women will see in their lives. 
  • [30:57] A ring does nothing for your internal beliefs. Neither does losing weight or other measures.
  • [31:57] What it looks like when you become a healed and loved woman.
  • [33:15] Learn about balance in your relationships. 
  • [35:48] You can like someone without having to be with them. 
  • [37:04] What boundaries really should mean and how they should be presented. 
  • [38:11] The benefits of being love available.
  • [41:59] The traits of a love available woman. 
  • [44:29] What it looks like when you’re living in your love worthiness. 
  • [48:01] When you are active in your love worthiness you show up for opportunities to find love.

Links & Resources: 

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

My, my job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by hookah crew to get

0:14.4

more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there

0:19.9

is just to bring it out. This is what compels me to compel them and I will do it by whatever means

0:27.3

to do. Welcome to the Black Girl's Hill podcast, but we talk about healing or intimacy disorders

0:34.1

and resolve trauma and building a healthy relationship with first ourselves and then others.

0:39.6

Every episode we will talk about advice you can apply today to break unhealthy patterns and grow

0:45.2

in your software. I'm Shrinella Shea, love addition coach and trauma specialist. Let's begin.

0:51.6

Hello ladies and welcome to the latest episode of Black Girl's Hill. I am so excited to have you

0:59.4

back with me today. Today I will be jumping into a refresher of our healed and loved women framework.

1:09.4

This is our three step model that I pull from as I teach all things healing from love addiction,

1:15.9

love avoidance and love deprivation, aka love anorexia. For those of you who do not know,

1:22.3

at the beginning of this year I share the framework in detail as just a basis so that we all know

1:29.6

what we are growing towards, what a healed and loved woman is, why it's important and even though

1:37.2

I have been dropping in language so you know you want to make sure that we are balanced in our

1:42.7

relationships or love balance. We need to make sure that we are available. We need to be lenient

1:47.7

to our loveworthiness. I talk about deprivation. Even though I'm talking about all those things,

1:53.2

I thought it would be very important to come back to home for us to be clear on what is

1:59.8

self-houndation and that is because one thing I've noticed when it comes to being in this healing

2:05.4

space and doing our self-healing work is some of us can be hoarders of self-help tools and support

2:14.1

and techniques and tips and people. We got the worksheets and we got the journals and we have all the

2:20.5

mantras and the affirmations and it's because we are stuck in this cycle and a stuck might not be

2:27.6

the right word because it's all based on forward progression but we have a habit of collecting things

...

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