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Black Girls Heal

#108: How to Make Adult Female Friendships with Danielle Bayard Jackson

Black Girls Heal

Shena Lashey

Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.81.8K Ratings

🗓️ 10 August 2021

⏱️ 48 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Why is it so difficult for some women to find and maintain healthy female friendships? Joining me today is Danielle Bayard Jackson, The Friendship Expert, to share more about this topic and to help provide actionable advice to get your friendships back on track, even if they’ve fallen off due to the pandemic. 

Danielle is a publicist by day and a certified friendship coach by night. She started her career as a high school English teacher for many years and was relied upon by her students to help navigate friendship issues. 

What she didn’t realize is that those “high school dramas” weren’t limited to high school. So often the way we approach friendship and relationships in general at a young age, follows us throughout our lives and experiences. 

Friendship like any other relationship requires work and nurturing but after more than a year of limited in-person interaction, it may seem daunting to reconnect. 

Listen as Danielle shares her tips for re-emerging as we reach the end of this pandemic and what you can be doing right now to start working on building new friendships. Remember that there could be people in your existing circle that you’d click with, you just need to give it a chance. 

Also, just because someone doesn’t have the capacity to spend time with you right now does not mean that they aren’t interested in friendship. Don’t let the stories you tell yourself obscure what could be an amazing relationship. 

If you’ve struggled in any way with finding strong female friendships, then you won’t want to miss out on everything Danielle has to share.

In this episode: 

  • [01:01] Welcome friendship coach and expert Danielle Bayard Jackson to chat all about making and maintaining adult female friendships.
  • [04:22] Listen as Danielle shares more about her background and business. 
  • [05:24] How did she become a friendship coach? 
  • [07:10] Why is it so difficult for us to keep and maintain female friendships in adulthood. 
  • [09:14] Danielle shares how she defines and describes a healthy friendship. 
  • [13:31] Ways to deal with the waiting period between finding new acquaintances and making new friends. 
  • [15:43] There is a study that has attempted to quantify how long it takes to build a friendship.
  • [18:03] What to do when you realize that you don’t feel like you have the energy for friendships. 
  • [23:42] Is there a right and wrong to determine how many coins we have available to give?
  • [27:03] The special thing about woman-to-woman friendships. 
  • [30:47] Learn the single greatest determining factor of our overall well-being. 
  • [32:37] What is your next step after you self-assess and you’re ready to cultivate new friendships? 
  • [39:52] The things you shouldn’t do when you slide into someone’s DMs to make a connection. 
  • [42:04] When people tell you they aren’t available is not a sign that someone doesn’t like you. 
  • [44:49] If you’re willing to be a friend and put in the time, then it’s never too late. 
  • [45:19] Connect with Danielle. 

Links & Resources: 

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Transcript

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0:00.0

My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by hook or crook to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there just to bring it out.

0:21.0

This is what compels me to compel them and I will do it by whatever means necessary.

0:29.0

Welcome to the Black Girl's Hill podcast, where we talk about healing or intimacy disorders and resolve trauma and building a healthy relationship with first ourselves and then others.

0:39.0

Every episode we will talk about advice you can apply today to break unhealthy patterns and grow in your software.

0:46.0

I'm Sheena Lache, love addition coach and trauma specialist. Let's begin.

0:54.0

Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the latest episode of Black Girl's Hill.

0:59.0

As always, I am so excited to have you here on the podcast to have you back.

1:05.0

I hope that this podcast finds you well, finds you happy, finds you thriving and that the resources that we share helps you make the most out of your relationships.

1:15.0

And specifically today's podcast is about friend relationships about friendships.

1:20.0

And so we are going to be talking with friendship coach and experts Danielle, about your Jackson, all about how to make keep cultivate nurture and grow friendships as an adult.

1:37.0

The more I do this work and the deeper I get into it, past healing, people's trauma and helping them redefine how they see themselves and even past finding romantic partners.

1:52.0

I have found that a consistent need that women have that they may not even know that they have until they start talking about it more is to have rich and true and consistent friendships.

2:06.0

You know, friendships are our chosen family friendships are the relationships that are supposed to stay with us or these will were taught that they are supposed to stay with us long term for a lifetime.

2:17.0

The ups and downs that can happen in friendships, not quite knowing how to make friendships there being a myth, which Danielle is going to talk about that we should automatically just know how to make a friend.

2:28.0

And if we don't know that that means there's something wrong with us or that would just meant to be alone, there's just so much that goes into this.

2:35.0

So that's why I'm so excited that we have her on the podcast to break down what is friendship look like.

2:42.0

How do we make this as an adult and what I love about Danielle and why she's just so good at what she does and why I had her in the podcast is that she upholds one of my biggest values, which is practicality.

2:56.0

So she is literally breaking down strategies and tools for all of us today to take into our everyday lives.

3:03.0

Even now in the midst of a pandemic, when we it's funny, I was thinking about last week's podcast episode and then how quickly things changed, you know, we thought outside was opening fully back up and COVID is back and she's given strategies that even with that, even with us still figuring out our normal.

3:26.0

We can still nurture build and grow friendships, so I can't wait for you to take a listen and I hope that you find the resources here to be things that you can apply and that you apply quickly to to build the relationships that you want.

3:42.0

So without further ado, let's go ahead and jump right on in.

3:52.0

Thanks for listening to this week's podcast before we get started. Let's take a small break to say thank you to this week's sponsors.

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