My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by hook or crook to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there just to bring it out.

This is what compels me to compel them and I will do it by whatever means necessary.

Welcome to the Black Girl's Hill podcast where we talk about healing or intimacy disorders and resolve trauma and building a healthy relationship with first ourselves and then others.

Every episode we will talk about advice you can apply today to break unhealthy patterns and grow in your self-worth.

I'm Sheena Lache, love addition coach and trauma specialist. Let's begin.

Welcome to the latest episode of Black Girls Hill. We are going to jump right in with today's episode today because we are talking about four mistakes that one can make as a love addict and committed relationships and or marriage.

The title says marriage because of length but also just because this is typically where people are like, how does this fit for me?

So many of the teachings that I have here on this podcast are targeting situations for single women and I absolutely have women of all ages and of all relationship statuses listening to this because you relate to it and so I really thought it would be important to have some episodes that talk about how do intimacy disorders show up and committed partnerships when you are not dating but you all have been together.

So if you're just now joining this series something for you to know is that I am sharing different mistakes that I have made personally in my journey which means that the list that I'm going to give is not going to be exhaustive of all of the ways that this can show up but I'm sharing out of my personal experience and strength and understanding and hopes of giving words to anybody who can relate.

If it is not your experience that is totally fine. This is not the episode for you. If it is your experience I hope that you find some resilience in it and I hope that you find some community that you're not alone and also that there are clear ways out and if this was you but it ain't no more.

I totally celebrate you and I rejoice with you and I am so amazed by you for doing the hard work to heal and to be open and to be able to be a healthy and available partner to your loved one so that's great.

So with that let's go ahead and jump in.

Before we get started let's take a small break to say thank you to this week sponsors.

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I'm going to be talking about love addiction and partnerships so the mistakes that I made as love addict in my different partnerships.

So for those of you who do not know love addiction is the persistent obsession of a person a relationship or the fantasy of who you want that person or relationship to be and mistaking it as love we use this as a way to self medicate that if this person is exactly how I want them to be if they say what I want them to say they think how I want them to think.

If this relationship gets resolved in this certain way if they always treat me this certain way that I am going to feel full on the inside that is just this relationship that is the missing piece.

A lot of times people think that the rest of their life is perfect but it's just a relationship part when really the relationship is really just a mirror of some of the things that you have going on inside of you that you might not have words for and you just might be over compensating and all these other areas of your life.

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