You’ve Been Talking All Wrong in Difficult Conversations

The Jefferson Fisher Podcast

Civility Media

Education, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Relationships

5 • 5.8K Ratings

🗓️ 21 October 2025

⏱️ 12 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, I’m breaking down the small language habits that secretly make hard conversations harder. Most of us think we’re being clear or kind — but the words we use often fuel defensiveness instead of understanding. I’ll show you how to stop using “you” statements that sound like blame, cut out weak disclaimers that undercut your point, and reframe your message so it lands with strength and respect. Thank you to our sponsors: Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Pique. Head to https://PiqueLife.com/jefferson for 20% off. BetterHelp. Click https://betterhelp.com/jeffersonfisher for a discount on your first month of therapy. Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe.
0:04.0	And this...
0:05.0	SimplySafe on.
0:06.2	...is the sound of peace of mind.
0:09.1	SimplySafe sensors, HD cameras and 24-7 security monitoring
0:14.1	protect your home inside and out,
0:16.9	against break-ins, fires, water leaks and more.
0:20.5	So you can relax. Visit simplysafe.com.
0:24.3	UK slash pod for an exclusive discount. There are three conversation landmines. I have to make sure you avoid.
0:36.1	This episode of the Jefferson Fisher podcast is going to be served to you hot and ready.
0:41.0	So we're just going to get right to it, right to the points.
0:43.0	I don't even feel like doing the intro today.
0:44.7	That's how I feel about this.
0:46.8	Now, before I dive into these three tips that you have to have in everyday conversation to avoid conflict,
0:52.9	I got to tell you first about Cozy Earth.
0:55.0	Cozy Earth has been a sponsor of this podcast
0:57.0	for good reason because I love their stuff.
0:59.0	I've used it for months, if not years now,
1:02.0	and they're all over my house.
1:05.0	So I don't know if you know this, but there is an age in life
1:09.0	where all of a sudden you go, man, I really like these towels, Man, I really like these bed sheets. Man, I really like these pants. Like just you go, I didn't even think I'd ever be saying this kind of stuff. Well, that's kind of how it is with my relationship with Cozy Earth. I'm honored that they're a sponsor of the podcast, but honestly, I just really like their stuff. Cozy
1:28.6	Earth is where it's at because everything that they do is top quality. So if you're like me and
	...

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