This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.

I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and

codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started.

There's this thing that happens when you've been living your life for everyone else.

You start to notice this exhaustion. Not the kind that comes from a busy day or two little

sleep. I'm talking about that like bone deep fatigue that seeps into you when you've been performing

yourself for everyone else instead of living your life for you. You know what I mean, right? You walk into a room and immediately your brain

starts calculating, what do they need me to be right now? Do they need me to be the helpful one,

the chill one, the funny one who makes everybody comfortable, the one who doesn't have opinions

that might make anyone uncomfortable? Because like nothing's more dangerous than other people

being uncomfortable, right?

I was talking to a client the other day, and she said something that just broke my heart open.

She said, Beya, I got a promotion at work, and my first thought wasn't excitement.

It was panic, because now I have to figure out how to be the version of me that deserves this promotion.

Yikes. Right, baby, like, wait, what? You already are the

person who deserves the promotion. That's why you got it. But this is what happens when we've

been performing our identity and our self for so long. We start to believe that the real us,

the messy, imperfect, sometimes cranky, sometimes

brilliant us isn't good enough. So we put on the costume, we tap dance for our lovability, and we hope

that nobody notices the person underneath. The wild thing is, most of us learn to do this

when we were really tiny, like five years old, maybe younger. Being good meant staying safe,

staying lovable, staying approved of, being easy, meant the adults stayed calm, being what they

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