Ep #339: Stop Hating Who You Used to Be: Countdown to End Emotional Outsourcing

Feminist Wellness

Béa Victoria Albina

Lifecoaching, Mental Health, Holistic, Feminist, Self-improvement, Fatigue, Alternative Health, Feelingstuckinlife, Spirituality, Healthygut, Health & Fitness, Mindbodyconnection, Guthealth, Connectionsbetweenthoughtsandhealth, Education, Ibs, Gutmicrobiome, Feminism

4.9 • 988 Ratings

🗓️ 14 August 2025

⏱️ 28 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

#339: You were doing the best you could with what you knew at the time. That's the truth that so many of us struggle to accept when we look back at our past decisions - the relationships we stayed in too long, the boundaries we didn't set, the times we said yes when we meant no.

There's this part of us that believes if we're mean enough to ourselves about these choices, we won't make them again. But here's what science tells us: beating yourself up doesn't create change.

This episode explores why compassion for your past self is essential for creating real, lasting change. Listen in today to discover how hating who you used to be blocks growth, and why being kind to your past self isn't about excusing behaviors or pretending everything was perfect.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://beatrizalbina.com/339

Mentioned in this episode:

End Emotional Outsourcing Pre-Sale Has Begun!

For years, we've been gathering here on Feminist Wellness, unpacking the tangled thought habits that come from living through the lens of codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing conditioning. You've shared your stories, your wins, your heartbreaks, and your breakthroughs with me, and I have held each and every one close to my heart. Well, all of those conversations, all that healing, all that nerdy science, it's come together in my new book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. This book is your practical, science-backed, loving guide to finally stop handing your emotional life over to other people and stop taking theirs on for them. Pre-order yours today: https://feminist-wellness.captivate.fm/book

EEO Pre-Sale

Transcript

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0:00.0	Okay, my beauty pause for just a moment. I want to ask you something. Are you a book buyer?
0:06.4	Or are you a movement builder? Because end emotional outsourcing isn't just a book. It's the call to be a truth teller, a pattern breaker, a boundary setter.
0:16.8	It's a call to step out of the old stories about what it means to be a codependent perfectionist
0:22.7	and people-pleasing person, and instead to honor your habits and create your new reality.
0:29.4	It's your handbook for stepping out of emotional outsourcing and into your fullest life,
0:34.2	not just reading about healing, living it, not just thinking about change, being a changer.
0:41.3	Pre-order now at Beatricealbina.com slash book. Let's be the ones who shift the conversation around
0:47.4	codependency forever.
0:49.0	Thank you. This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.
1:08.3	I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and
1:11.9	codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started.
1:20.3	Hello, hello, my love. I hope this finds you doing so well. This week on the pod, we are talking about how to live with compassion and look
1:31.5	backwards towards your past self with more care, more empathy, more kindness. One of the most
1:37.7	heartbreaking things I hear from my clients every single week is, God, I was so dumb. Oh, I can't believe I did that. I can't believe I went
1:47.3	back to him. I can't believe I stayed with them. I can't believe I. Meen, meenny, meanie,
1:52.1	pants towards past us, past you. And there's this part of us that thinks if we beat ourselves
1:59.3	up enough, then like we won't make
2:01.1	the same mistakes again, but it just doesn't make science. And it doesn't make anybody feel any more
2:07.6	better. And listen, I love to say that if being mean to yourself worked, it would have worked by
2:13.6	now, right? But it doesn't. It doesn't work. It doesn't get us anywhere except disregulated in our nervous
2:21.0	system, contracted and tight and braced somatically in our bodies. It binds us up. It locks us up.
2:28.8	Be mean to yourself and see how your digestion is. Go for it. I'll wait. Right? So this episode is a clarion called
	...

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