Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about navigating the difficult relationship.

You deserve respect and kindness.

All the information on this show is meant for educational purposes only.

Always seek a professional for your mental health and well-being, and always pick your battles wisely.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

I'm going to get right into a message that I received from somebody that talks about

their partner, their husband, joining the healed being program.

That's the program I run for hurtful and emotionally abusive people that want to heal

and change over at healed

being.com in case you're listening and you think you might need that or you know

somebody that might need that that is the website for it.

One thing I wanted to mention about that program is that some people will join in order

to save their relationship.

That is like their sole reason sometimes.

And the problem with that, the problem with somebody joining a program

or getting help, getting therapy, whatever it is,

to stop doing emotionally abusive behavior,

the problem when their intention is to save

the relationship is that it is what they tend to focus on during the process where they're

supposed to be healing and changing.

And if someone's focus is on saving the relationship, what typically ends up happening is they

don't go through the changes they need to do inside themselves in order to show up as the best

...