Yes, Captain Kidney
The Luke and Pete Show
Stak Production
4.8 • 1.9K Ratings
🗓️ 27 April 2026
⏱️ 24 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
It’s nearly Sir David Attenborough’s 100th birthday but Pete isn’t especially looking forward to the celebrations. He is, however, excited for a certain upcoming brewery-based World Cup event. As is Luke.
Elsewhere on today’s show we’ve got discussion concerning antihistamines and tattoos, some fascinating listener correspondence re: kidney transplants and a return to the wonderful world of what3words.
Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.
The Luke and Pete Show is the sometimes ridiculous, always funny podcast with Luke Moore and Pete Donaldson: two men who have time on their hands and a good idea of how to waste it. Subscribe to get your comedy podcast fix every Monday and Thursday.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | It's the look of Pete Show. It is Monday 27th of April. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Mr. |
| 0:11.3 | Lucie Moore. We ended the last show, Luke, about me cancelling a dentist's appointment and an |
| 0:18.1 | optician's appointment for the ramble. |
| 0:21.6 | So what are you gonna do in the middle of the ramble? |
| 0:24.6 | If my teeth hurt so bad, I start screaming. |
| 0:28.6 | I don't think people would notice in terms of output. |
| 0:32.6 | Oh, Pete's doing a thing again. |
| 0:34.6 | Yeah, Pete's doing a skit. |
| 0:35.6 | Feet's doing a little skit. So you've got to cancel both those things because you're going to do a round about episode? Yeah, yeah. It's dedication to the craft. Well, I can't really complain. I've been, I was on a work trip for a week. But I've found in my pockets just then a lot of, a lot of licorice. A lot of liquor, like, different, like, loose licorice products. |
| 0:57.2 | Little, little sort of, like, black, like, jelly beans and little tiny licorice top of it does and stuff. You live in like a beano, you're living like a beano comic strip. in my big bag |
| 1:09.5 | there was a smaller bag of |
| 1:11.0 | of liquorice that burst |
| 1:13.1 | and saw every now and again strip. In my big bag, like there was a smaller bag of liquorice that burst. |
| 1:13.6 | And so every now and again, I'll be looking for something in my bag and I'll just find a |
| 1:16.8 | handful of licorice covered in sand. |
| 1:19.7 | You like the proper salty Scandinavian type as well, don't you? |
| 1:22.8 | I do, yeah. |
| 1:23.3 | I'll take any liquorish and I'll judge it. |
| 1:25.5 | They do say you shouldn't eat too much licorice |
| 1:28.0 | because it gives you brain damage, |
| 1:29.2 | but you're also looking at... |
| 1:31.2 | There's a lot of stuff that gives you brain... |
... |
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