XYBM Clips: This is why small arguments turn toxic
Express Yourself Black Man
Kizzle
5.0 • 556 Ratings
🗓️ 3 March 2026
⏱️ 11 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In XYBM 151, I open up about a season I recently went through where I genuinely felt abandoned by God — and the uncomfortable truth I had to face about what was actually happening beneath that feeling.
I talk about what it looks like to shift disagreements before they turn into destructive arguments, how betrayal trauma hits men differently when you’ve been cheated on or crossed by someone you trusted, and how to heal without becoming hardened or passing that pain onto the people you love.
If you’re in a season of spiritual and mental growth that feels heavy or confusing, this episode will meet you there. Tune in on all podcast streaming platforms, including YouTube.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Know when you are in a bad mood or know when your partner is in a bad mood. |
| 0:05.6 | Nothing starts, nothing, trust me, nothing starts an argument quicker or sustains an argument |
| 0:12.1 | longer than being in a bad mood. Okay? So if you're in a bad move, you know your partner |
| 0:18.1 | is in a bad mood. It might not be the time to talk about that disagreement it may |
| 0:21.9 | not be the right time you may need to just yo listen not right now i just i don't have it in me right now |
| 0:28.7 | i need a moment and i know fellas some of us do this and our partners still be like yo listen i need to talk |
| 0:33.7 | about it right now you need to stand on your boundary. Stand on your boundary. |
| 0:39.1 | You set a boundary. You set a rule. Whatever the case, whatever you want to call it. It doesn't |
| 0:44.1 | matter what you want to call it. You said something about what you need. Stand on that. Don't let them |
| 0:50.4 | make you feel like you got to talk about it right now. No, you don't have to. |
| 0:55.0 | If you're not in a good mood or you know they're not in a good mood, we're not talking about this right now because all we're going to do is go further down the rabblehold of argument and not get to anywhere closer to solution. And that's not the mindset. That's not the mentality that we should be having. know when you're in a bad mood, know when your partner is in a bad mood. |
| 1:12.3 | And if that's the case, y'all be having. Know when you're in a bad mood, knowing your partner is in a bad mood. |
| 1:12.3 | And if that's the case, |
| 1:13.3 | y'all should not be talking about disagreements |
| 1:14.8 | because it's just going to lead |
| 1:16.6 | closer and closer to an argument. |
| 1:18.8 | And that's not where we want to go, right? |
| 1:20.8 | Number two, regulate yourself before you respond. |
| 1:27.3 | Mm. Okay? Regulate yourself before you respond. |
| 1:31.1 | Okay? Regulate yourself before you respond. |
| 1:35.0 | Someone says something and it triggers you. Know when you're triggered. |
| 1:40.2 | I'm still working on it. Okay. I'm still working on it. We all working on it. |
... |
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